Anju Unplugged.

Amblin'

2011-06-10T14:54:00.002+08:00

Nothing's more dangerous than a boy with charm ;)

Excuse the non-sequitur, but I always wanted to say that. (Hmmm, don't know whether it counts as one if I haven't said anything else yet)

Hari ini saya ingin bercakap tentang ~~music~~ ~~musik~~ muzik pop. Pop boleh didefinasikan sebagai err...

err...

Oh fuck this, I've forgotten anything I've learn in high school. Evidently my future as a lawyer in Malaysia is also shot to pieces. If I do decide to become one. A tad redundant innit, since I'm almost done with my first year of law. 2 more months to finals and all I remember doing this year is going out a whole lot.

Anywhoo, I'm not here to talk about studying nor am I here to talk about my future. Today I'm going to talk about the past. (thanks to Genius who suddenly shuffled to Christina Aguilera's old songs) I suddenly remembered the days where I was in primary school, to the time where I was actually shorter than my parents (ha!) I suddenly remember vividly to the time where cliques reign true in school. The time where people thought that hanging out with the right people was the most important thing to do. How every kid in school desperately wanted to be popular, to hang with the 'right' people, to own the 'right' kind of stuff. And the only thing I can think of right now is BODOHNYER.

What did that ever do to me? It's not like I've maintained close friendships with all of them. In fact, it's the high school bonds that lasts forever right? (With the exception of a few of course).

You know what, I don't even know where I am going with this.

kthaxbai.

p/s: back to Kuantan this week again. Can't wait to see everyone. :)

2011-05-10T13:11:00.001+08:00

An afternoon post?

Really?

How unlike me.

Actually,

Not really.

2011-05-06T02:48:00.002+08:00

You write what you can, when you can.

Desperately seeking inspiration, curling comfortably in this downward spiral of self-hatred and doubt. Excuses or the lack of it, the repetitive syllables falling past your lips into the ears of the misguided fools. Poison, the viscous liquid shifting in the light as you play with the bottle, spinning it this way and that. Droplets of red falling from the broken skin, slowly increasing to a flow. The sharp glint of the knife that was in your hands, lying dormant at the edge of your vision. A masquerade, words that are lies besmirching your thoughts. Struggling internally, the torment in your mind escalating. Thunder, lighting, disasters becomes the calm that you yearn for. Waiting for the inner turmoil to be expressed by something else, something other than your mind. Watching everything go by; only waiting with regret. Infantile relationships dancing at the fringes at your thoughts. Simple. Pure. Sediments laying softly at the bottom. Fingers tighten around the glass, the tipping of the bottle. Falling of the bright, red flow into nothingness. It pools at your feet, growing. Soles pulsate and blister. Welcoming the pain, tipping the bottle right over. Droplets falling, leaving nothing behind. That metallic glint, infringing your thoughts of it's use. Pushing it in, dragging across unblemished skin. Breaking boundaries of biological reasoning. Losing judgement, disregarding reason. The need to feel. The need to yearn. Limits becoming faint lines in the mind, an abandoned road. Restraint holding no meaning. You watch life drain before you; breaths become gasps; vision become tunnels. All you have left is darkness. and calm.

Sometimes.

You write what you want, when you want.

GIRL CRUSH.

2011-04-28T23:38:00.005+08:00

*girl crush*

Ha!

So what if he's old? So what if he has grey hair? SO FREAKING WHATTT.

That hair, the smoldering eyes, that half-smile and did I mention the HAIR?Sighhhh.

Hahhh, I know this is very unlike me but come on people! This is Patrick Dempsey we're talking about. But seriously tho, I think I have a thing for older guys.

Because when you date guys your own age, maturity becomes a huuuuuuge problem. It pains me greatly to say this, but 19 year old guys today still watch cartoons, which might be adorable but if it's the only thing that they watch, it is just sad. To find someone who reads Tolstoy and plays a musical instrument, who is also tall not to mention has the ability to grow facial hair but shaves so it looks like he has a constant 5 o'clock shadow is pretty hard to get. Ahem, hence the Patrick Dempsey crush. Not to mention he's pretty much playing God in that damn TV show just increased the crush factor by a tenfold.

Hmmm, come to think of it, being a doctor pretty much means you're playing God isn't it? You hold a person's life in your hands, what you decide will pretty much determine the fate of the person lying before you. Brrr, too much responsibility for a flake like me to bear. As much as I like to pretend to play God - the jokes and the I bless you thing, I will never ever want to have that on my conscience. The fact that the lapse in my judgment is what caused that man to die, that if I reacted a minute sooner, that if diagnosed the problem just a bit differently could be the reason that the morgue would have one less body in it, that's just not right.

Who am I to decide that I am to decide if someone else is to live or die?

Who am I?*screechestoahalt*

Let's not go there.

Where was I? Oh yesss, Mr. P. Dempsey. heeee.

All you highbrow people who watch Lost and House who just say that Grey's Anatomy is a superficial drama can suck it. (Don't get me wrong, I watch them too but I also watch GA). Because, the damn show has so many layers. Okay, so some of their situations may be unrealistic in real life. I mean what are the chances that there would be a bomb and someone going on a literal murdering rampage in the same hospital? But that's why it's called TV right?

What I love about GA is the fact they have so many metaphors. And the fact their script is so normal. That you wouldn't think that the storyline is so absurd because contextually, everything just fits. The pretty people who happen to be brilliant at what they do without putting in any effort at becoming brilliant, the public sex and the multiple sex partners, it just doesn't seem that absurd when you're watching it right? Or maybe it's just a guilty pleasure. I don't know.

Who really cares when you have this to stare at?

Change?

2011-04-06T03:28:00.000+08:00

Let's hope that this is a beginning to something more. :)

2011-03-22T22:35:00.002+08:00

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

That, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth indifference is the least,

We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were the stars to burn,

With a passion for us we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am,

Of the stars that do not give a damn,

I cannot, now I see them, say

I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear and die,

I should learn to look at a empty sky

And feel it's total dark sublime,

Though this might take me a little time.

- W.H. Auden, The More Loving One.

Breakdown.

2011-03-14T18:53:00.002+08:00

More delaying tactics again. Okay, I see you all rolling your eyes and saying "Jeez, doesn't she do anything but procrastinate?" cough.

HELLO. I..err...don't.

But it's little routines like this that comfort me. I like the fact that when I have to do something, I will delay it. I like the fact that I will put off what I say I would do now and do something completely useless for my productivity; i.e. blogging. It serves no higher purpose than being a place for me to procrastinate. Exhibit A : http://havenoenvyhavenofear.tumblr.com/post/3766152880/bs and this is just 3 days old. Can you imagine how many more posts like this that I can find if I decide to trawl this blog from it's very beginning? ~~Before the Empire~~ I'm sorry but I have no idea where that came from.

Okay I lied, I know. Star Wars. Oh the shame!

But I digress. And yes, I know I do this quite often as well. But I find it comforting that I do. I would like to take this as a sign of a broadly minded intellectual that has interests in so many things that little intricate connections like these are no obstacle to digressing.

And yes, I digress again. Forgive the mind, it tends to wander at times.

So where was I? Procrastination, right. For me, procrastinating is a habit that I take comfort in. It calms me, it makes me feel safe; that I have nothing to worry about. It's when I stop procrastinating is when I get worried. It's a sure sign that it is too late, that whatever that I'm supposed to be studying for (and I say studying here because I just cannot in my right mind think of another example) is going to be due/tested tomorrow and that I am not going to have enough time to finish it. So, procrastinating is like a comfort thing, it's my security blanket. For example, http://writeranjublocking.blogspot.com/2010/08/put-choice-of-non-pervy-title-here.html you see how happy I sound here? Completely and utterly relaxed?

It's the little things for me. Being happy-go-lucky means many, many impromptu plans which means that those the major changes that I make in life? Those life-altering changes like choosing my career and deciding to explore a major city on foot or travelling to another city for food; those were snap decisions. But they do usually end up being right. It's the second guesses that are wrong. The choices, the answers, anything that was an afterthought generally don't up with good consequences for me. So what I do is make a decision as quick as humanely possible and stick with it. This too helps reduce hypocrisy. But let's leave this for another time shall we? Hypocrisy is one of the things that I really cannot stand in people but to say this itself is hypocritical because we're all hypocrites on way or another. That's because that time is changing too quickly for us to stick with a decision that we've made. There's too many choices, too many options that it's impossible for us to be what we say we are. Okay, maybe I couldn't leave it; so let's call this a preview of a future post on hypocrisy?

So, we're down to the crux of this post. The breakdown part. What are the my signs of a breakdown? I'm not talking about the going all out postal - threating to kill myself or slapping a lecturer, but again, it's the little things. I know that I may complain about being in a rut all the time, but that's the comfort isn't it? Knowing that everything is going to be the same. So anyway, signs. Skip my shows for a day? Actually buckling down and doing my work? Blow-drying my hair? Answer: All of the above. But the sign that things are at it's worst? I clean. Which I Googled and found out that this actually could be a sign of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Which I never denied that I have albeit it's a very mild case lah. Because this OCD thing only extends to the stuff in my laptop. Every song properly ordered by artist, album, track number and title. I did have my old stuff down to year and genre but I couldn't bring myself to do everything again after the computer crashed. Or this cleaning thing could be an anxiety disorder. Which also could be true but OCD is as symptom of an anxiety attack and so it's could be either or neither. Because another reason why I found on Google is because I'm decluttering. I'm basically clearing my problems away and letting good karma in. This hypothesis is slightly more comforting than having an anxiety disorder but seriously? Throwing out the bad and in with the good? The skeptic in me is snorting in disbelief right now. So if I keep throwing stuff out and filling it in with new stuff it will make me feel better? I know this is not what it really means but it is MY interpretation and I'm sticking to it! Forget happy, the only thing that decluttering is going to make me is broke.

Insofar which I am beginning to exhibit 3/4 of my symptoms. And the fact that I've skipped more 1 day's worth of shows is a sure sign that I should be worried right now. However, the cleaning thing hasn't manifested yet but I can feel it bubbling under the surface. I'm contemplating my unmade bed and the feather duster lying atop the bookshelf. The urge is there, the compulsion to pull the sheets straight, the need to rearrange the desk, it's all here. Suppressed, but here.

Is it time to worry yet?

p/s: I do believe that self-psychoanalysis is possible, thanks to Freud. If he could do it 200 or so years ago to other people, although slightly inaccurately; I'm sure we have evolved sufficiently enough to psychoanalyze ourselves. Most people choose to underrate him but I do believe that he deserves a mention.

pp/s: LLB is really hard. :(

ppp/s: In the spirit of free association I leave you with this.

Bottle;whiskey.

Maudlin

2011-03-11T00:05:00.002+08:00

I come alone to this room,

This room in which you sat,

And filled my world with images.

I would reply, but cannot speak,

I would cry, but cannot weep.

- Angus Lordie, Love Over Scotland.

Don't it always seem to go?

2011-03-09T02:15:00.003+08:00

I'm done being nice to you. Done trying. It's your turn now. But being that self absorbed ass that you are, you probably wouldn't even notice.

Was researching my criminal law assignment and I got this.

2011-02-25T16:25:00.002+08:00

Amnesia.

2011-02-20T23:30:00.003+08:00

I had a whole post written out. Something happy, something upbeat. But it seems wrong somehow. So,

Sometimes, I wish I could forget you existed.

Sometimes, I don't want to be who I am.

Sometimes, I want to be wanted.

Sometimes, I think about you.

Sometimes, I wish I didn't.

Sometimes, I want to forget.

Sometimes, I don't want to remember.

Sometimes, all I want is to pull through this.

Sometimes, I don't want to let go.

Physical Violence.

2011-02-12T12:09:00.004+08:00

You know what I feel like doing right now?

I feel like taking this very laptop I'm typing this post right now and throwing it at the window.

Why?

Because I am angry.

No really, it's that simple.

I am angry therefore I rage.

I rage therefore I am violent.

I am violent so that I can be at peace.

Anger cannot be controlled, as of love.

You cannot make yourself to be at peace when you are filled with red, hot, bubbling rage.

There is no amount of rationale, no amount of pacifying conversation that will help with rage. Anger should be expressed, unhindered.

It's when you throw something or break something that you feel that relief, that momentary peace from the thoughts inside your head that makes you bubble and boil on the inside. It's the breaking the cocoon of anger enveloped around you to let peace flow through nay, acceptance so that you can let it go and move on. Repressing anger will only make it fester and grow, like a aneurysm and boom! It explodes. With that comes consequences more dire than what you thought physical violence might bring. You break down, not only physically but emotionally. Thoughts you don't want will start running through your head. More anger. More repressed violence. More break downs. It's a vicious cycle, really.

Physical violence shouldn't be abhorred, just controlled. I mean, there are going to be times where you just feel like wrapping your fingers around that neck, watching your fingers clench slowly as gasps escape the person you're choking. And as the fingers curl tighter, you see red marks on the neck beneath your fingers. The gasps grow fainter and stops all together. And all is at peace. You are at peace.

I should know.

2011-02-09T01:01:00.001+08:00

Somehow, everything feels the same. But inexplicably different.

Blogspot blogging.

2011-02-06T01:12:00.003+08:00

I'm blogspot blogging because I can't seem to let this page go. :) I've filled it with so much of crap and memories it seems like I'm removing part of myself if I let it go. But sometimes, you do have to know when to move on, when to let go. Because holding on to your past will only hurt you more than it will comfort you. Memories are memories because they're are supposed to remembered. Is there a point of recording it all down for future perusal? How is a poignant event suppose to remain poignant if everything is going to be poignant? Have a little faith, you will remember what's important. If you don't remember, I'm guessing that the little things that you forget is not worth remembering anyway.

So, to make it a clean break?

Or let it go slowly?

But one thing's for sure, moving on is on the checklist this year. And I intend for it to be done. Sooner or later.

p/s : No matter what you say, everyone's got a type. Somehow, I'm rather glad you're no longer mine.

pp/s : Okay now this entire post seems metaphoric. Wooot! I like it when all my proverbial ducks line up in a row without me making them to.

Moving on!

2011-01-20T01:27:00.001+08:00

I'm now on tumblr. :)

http://havenoenvyhavenofear.tumblr.com/

dots belong onscreen.

2011-01-19T01:11:00.003+08:00

Thinking of deleting this blog. Blogspot is a major pain in the ass. Tumblr or wordpress maybe?

2011-01-03T00:19:00.001+08:00

Peccantem me quotidie, et non poenitentem, timor mortis conturbat me. Quia in inferno nulla est redemptio, miserere mei. Deus, et salva me.

31/12/2010.

2010-12-31T18:19:00.001+08:00

Today is the last day of the year. And all I can say is good riddance.

And goodbye.

Perspective.

2010-12-24T00:16:00.001+08:00

It’s Christmas Eve. And I just realized that there’s a week left in the year. I had just gone through 358 days of god-knows what, because well I don’t remember this year at all.

It seems that all I remember is finally gaining my independence and then just throwing it away for nothing. There were so many things that I wanted achieve, so many things that I wanted to do. But there were always reasons not to. And I know that this isn’t a proper Christmas Eve post, there’s nothing Happy or Merry about it. It just seems that this time of happiness and joy had only made me realise how I am not.

So this year’s Christmas song is going to be : The Skies Above Your Head.

Nico Stai–The Skies Above Your Head.

wake up wake up there something running inside again
morning's here and the clouds are just everywhere
and all the thing's you've been dreaming
well they're not even yours to keep
wake up wake up
we gotta find a way out of this

and you write songs you know you'll never sing
and I don't know why
I guess you just hate yourself
well
you should turn around
cause I think the skies are gonna fall right over your head again
fall
right over your head

we step outside and there's a chill in the air we breath
you know the day your father passes
you're gonna be the one that pays for it

and you write songs you know you'll never sing
and I don't know why
I guess you just hate yourself
you should turn around
cause I think the skies are gonna fall right over your head again
fall
right over your head

wake up wake up
we gotta find a way out of this
wake up wake up
we gotta find a way out of this.

I’m on my way to believing.

2010-12-23T23:25:00.001+08:00

On the inside, looking out.

Modern Family.

2010-12-22T21:22:00.001+08:00

I am now so awesome that I am blogging while watching Modern Family. And while I am doing this, I am receiving notifications from messenger that a bunch of people are commenting on a picture that I am tagged in. Which I believe is not even a picture of me. It is probably idiotic pictures that say Happy New Year or Merry Christmas. Blergh. I mean, how impersonal can it be? You tag a random bunch of people to wish them something that might be really important to them. Anyhow. I am now watching Modern Family. And I believe that I have said that already. Look at that! I did. At the very first line. It’s a TV series that is shot like a documentary, effectively making this a mockumentary.

I suppose it’s harder to act in a mockumentary since you have to act like a normal person as opposed to acting like actors. You are supposed to pretend to be a normal person who makes mistakes, like slipping on the stairs or slurring of words. Or would it be easier for them to act? Since they don’t have to be perfect all the time. No need to enunciate. No need to have the perfect expression all the time. Blergh.

Anyhow. Bored. Tired of typing.

Watch it!

Existentialist or Determinist : What am I?

2010-12-22T17:30:00.001+08:00

There were many things that I had always wondered about as a child.

There were the normal why questions. And then there were questions that I had kept to myself.

Who am I.

What am I.

What makes me who I am.

Well, there are two ways to answer these questions.

And to choose either way will effectively define who I am for the rest of my life.

I know that I could change my opinion later on but somehow that route never appealed to me. I want to get everything right the first time. Going back in my opinion is just not an option. It makes me feel as if I am an hypocrite. And yes, I know, everyone’s a hypocrite but somehow the thought of the inability to stay true to just myself will probably make me think lowly of myself and well, I just don’t want to go there. As hypocritical as I may seem about certain things, there are just boundaries that you never cross. And one of them includes picking with philosophical line that I want to follow. It does seem odd doesn’t it? I give more thought as to what philosophical thoughts I will be going to have than to religion. I accepted Hinduism unconditionally, just praying to who my parents pray do. Shouldn’t I choose what kind of god I want to have? Which one of them applies to me more? I know that I’ve said that there is only one god, so let’s not open that topic again. We are all different in the same ways. So why should it matter who I pray to right? As long as I practice what I think is morally right, it shouldn’t matter if I worship Allah or Buddha instead of Ganesh right? The only reason we are prejudiced is because we were raised to be so. Which brings me back to the question, existentialism or determinism?

Do I accept that my future is written out for me? Or do I take charge of my own future?

Picking either option is hard, well because picking one would mean that I have to conform to only one way of thinking. That my thoughts will only have one pathway to follow. Which pretty much contradicts the lifestyle i want to lead. I want the ability to pick what I want to do whenever I want to do it. Say, if I feel like getting a eyebrow pierced, I will. No questions asked, no second thoughts. Hmmm, seems like what I want is instant gratification. Hell, who am I to disagree? Everybody wants everything now. But somehow I want to believe that life works in mysterious ways, that somehow it will turn out the way that you want it to be. But I want to know that if it was meant to turn out bad for me, I will have the ability to change it to the way that I want it to be. Which basically means, I want things to work out in my favour. I want to be an determinist, so that I don’t have to work hard at what I am doing right now or I may be just very, very lazy but I also want to be an existentialist, well because I don’t want my life to suck in the future.

So somehow, I know that my next sentence is just going to annoy anyone who bothered reading this post because I’m going to end it right here. Because I don’t want to choose. But sometimes I do.

but I don’t.

I don’t know.

Punch Me Right in the Mouth.

2010-12-21T17:20:00.001+08:00

I wrote something and deleted it.

You want to know why?

Because it has no flow.

I have no idea what I want to say.

No idea what I want to do.

No idea of why am I even here.

I need a sign, something that says that the choices I make is right.

The things that I’ve done is right.

That it’s all going to be okay.

Please?

Geek Speak.

2010-12-20T20:40:00.002+08:00

I seem to have forgotten that I actually have a blog. The promise I made to update more frequently is shot down the drain, the same way a dead goldfish would go. Anywhoooo. Watching the Social Network made me realize that I haven't blogged in a long long time. I need to post something, something substantial before this blog dies a slow painful death.

Anyway, the Social Network. 19 minutes in, I am not impressed with the story but the soundtrack does sound good. The geek speak however, is irritating me.

Okay, I had enough of writing with half a brain. I'll blog later, or ever. IF I ever have the mood.

Lazy post.

2010-11-29T02:55:00.001+08:00

A fake update.

This will only look long.

Listen to this :

Emmy Rossum – The Great Divide.

Reach across the great divide
See the war behind your eyes
Finally slow, the racing clock
Try so hard to make it stop

Are you listening
Are you listening
Are you listening
Don't look away

Hear me say
I need you now
I need you now
I need you now

No more throwing stones tonight
This glass house can take the fight
Help me calm this hurricane
Before this moment slips away

Are you listening
Are you listening
Are you listening
Don't look away

Hear me say
I need you now
I need you now
I need you now

Are you listening
Are you listening
Are you listening
Hear me say

I need you now
Don't look away
Hear me say.

It’s such a pity her album didn’t get recognition that it deserves. This Imogen Heap/Bon Iver cross of electronics and voice mashing was done really well. The perfect amount of emo in the lyrics and and enough of melody to let you sing along. Here’s to hoping she comes out with another.

Told you it looked long.

Prophecies, Wars & Koreans.

2010-11-24T17:11:00.001+08:00

To be honest, I had no idea what was going on with the Koreans until well, just now. Now before you scorn my total ignorance of the world’s issues, I don’t usually know what’s going on in my own home even when I’m in it. Because sometimes, ignorance is friggin’ bliss.

So what is happening in Korea? Is it really a war? Are the thankless, ungrateful kids of this generation finally going to witness one firsthand?

Since I don’t really know anything about the Koreans except for the fact their musical bands/groups contain an inappropriately large amount of people in them, I asked the wisest person I know. Google.
Apparently, North and South Korea had never really stopped being at war with each other, since they didn’t sign a treaty. The original Korean War started in 1950 until 1953 when they signed an armistice, which is a situation in war where the parties agree to stop fighting. It does not necessarily mean the end of the war but it’s basically a pause button on hostilities so that negotiations on lasting peace can be made. The reason of the beginning of these war between the two Korean sides is due to the political division of the country at the end of the Pacific War. The Pacific War is basically the parts of the WWII that took place in the Pacific Ocean & in the Far East. Japan ruled Korea until the end of the WWII in which after their surrender, the Americans divided their country along the 38th parallel. The United States occupied the South and the Soviet Union the North. Since there was no freedom to hold elections in the North, it became established as a communist country.

What has essentially happened is that North Korea has bombed a South Korean island. 2 people were killed and 17 injured on the island. South Korea had retaliated but it is yet to be known whether they actually hit North Korean territory. If North Korea decides to attack again, the South Korean president has declared that ‘Enormous retaliation should be made to the extent that [North Korea] cannot make provocations again.’. Which inherently means the war will begin again. Read more here : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1332240/South-Korea-warns-retaliation-Norths-shellfire-strike-kills-marines.html?ito=feeds-newsxml.

Even creepier, this beginning of the World War III has actually been predicted by a Bulgarian psychic & healer, Baba Vanga.

According to her, the war will begin in November 2010 and will end in October 2014. It will begin as a conventional war, then nuclear weapons will be used and then chemical weapons. Biological warfare seems future of war weaponry. A release of a mutant strain of influenza is more likely to end the world as we know it. Because, nothing can cure the common cold and no, not even chicken soup?.

And the creepiest of the creepy, Baba Vanga had apparently predicted the tragedy of the World Trade Centre in 1989.

"Horror, horror! The American brethren will fall after being attacked by the steel birds. The wolves will be howling in a bush, and innocent blood will be gushing."

"Brethren" is believed to refer to the "Twin" Towers or the "Brothers". "Steel Birds" are obviously the jets. The part about the bush is believed to refer to President Bush.

So, this is the apparent timeline of what’s going to happen in our future :

2010: World War 3 begins in November 2010. Starting as a regular war, it will progress to a nuclear and chemical war. Vanga says the war will be finished by October 2014.

2011: As a result of the war, radioactive showers will destroy almost all life in the Northern Hemisphere. The remaining Europeans will face an even further threat from the Muslims who will use chemical weapons to finish them off.

2014: As another result of the chemicals and nuclear weapons during the war, most of the world population will have skin cancer and other skin diseases.

2016: Europe is nearly uninhabited.

2018: China will become the new superpower. The exploiters will become the exploited.

Note : I only put up her predictions until the year 2018. The actual prophecy spans until the end of the world in 5079.

Which means the world isn’t ending anytime soon.

Damn. I was counting on that.

So did he foil is ‘own?

2010-11-23T04:54:00.001+08:00

Listen up boys and girls! It’s that time again. Where sleighs, reindeers and fluffs of cotton reign the malls with continuous sounds of bells in the air. Yes, in Malaysia Christmas starts in November. Do you want to know why? It’s a marketing ploy to get you to shop. It’s a goddam conspiracy I tell you! The number of sales that happen in a year in Malaysia basically covers the entire year. At the most you’ll have a month of non- sales period but people that’s just to give you the illusion that you’re saving money when the next sale rolls on in. You have sales during the major public holidays like Chinese New Year, Deepavali, Christmas, Hari Raya and Merdeka. And if the the sales all starts typically a month beforehand, that’s January, February, August, September, October, November, December. That’s almost half a year and I’m pretty sure that there are some major holidays that I’m forgetting. Also, you cannot forget that the shops will also have clearance sales scattered randomly around the year. Plus there’s a sale during the May/June period when the public schools has their semester break. Amazed? Don’t be. All of these stem from the government’s deliberate manipulation of increasing spending in the society so that it would seem that the country’s is doing very well and recession has not hit us that badly. AND TO GET MORE VOTES. So by showing that consumer confidence is not affected the government is trying to fool us into thinking that even though recession has hit us, we’re doing quite okay compared to other countries because SOMEHOW our governments has managed to manage our finances properly.Let’s just face it, the more money we seem to throw away on these sales, buying things that we actually don’t need or want will only instil a false sense of confidence in us, that money isn’t all that tight right now and we can afford to splurge on just this one more pair of jeans or bag. We fool ourselves in this sense of security and we begin to believe what we keep telling ourselves although we know that deep, deep inside, it’s just isn’t true.

STOP SHOPPING. Start saving.*

Anyway, back to the matter at hand.

I’m a here to talk to you about my new favourite man.

Mr. Bon Iver aka Justin Vernon.

This man is a musical genius. He sequestered himself in a cabin for 3 months and came up with the album For Emma, Forever Ago. He recorded the entire album by himself with whatever instruments he had lying around the cabin and the songs basically were like and I quote : "All of his personal trouble, lack of perspective, heartache, longing, love, loss and guilt that had been stockpiled over the course of the past six years, was suddenly purged into the form of song." This man later came out with an EP, Blood Bank in which there are four songs, each of them sung by Justin in multiple layers. He records each layer of the song and compiles them together which makes it sound like there are multiple people singing in the track. That much of dedication and hard work earns him a gold star in my book. And high-tech equipment is scarce when you are your own label, Jagjaguwar. A few of his more outstanding tracks include :

Skinny Love (from the album For Emma, Forever Ago)

Creature Fear (from the album For Emma, Forever Ago)

And the best song ever recorded in Bon Iver history so far :

Woods (from his EP, Blood Bank)

He only sings 4 lines in the entire 4 minute song :

I'm up in the woods
I'm down on my mind
I'm building a still
To slow down the time.

Pure fucking genius.

p/s : Like Bon Iver? Check out James Vincent McMorrow, the newest GOOD addition to the indie scene in the US.

pp/s : Bored of American indie bands? Head on up to Canada! (Stars, In Flight Safety & Random Recipe)

And yes, I do realise that my postscripts sound like ads, but somehow you know that THAT is the best way to get through to some people. Okay, MOST people.

*It’s a tad rich coming from me, the most compulsive shopper that I personally know.

A student without a purpose.

2010-11-20T18:16:00.002+08:00

I, Annjili Gunendran am a student without a purpose. Without the need to study there is no need to procrastinate. Without the need to procrastinate, there is no need to flake off. Without the need to flake off there is no urge to stream random videos or find new indie bands to listen to. I only watch what I've already started watching, I listen to whatever I already have. In a nutshell, I am, unfortunately stuck in a rut.

2 days after my exams are over.

I wake up, lie listless in bed, read until I fall asleep again. This system will repeat except for the fact I alternate reading with checking texts until my housemates gets worried or until the sun rises and sets and then only will I get up. OR if I have to pee. So what do I do?

Do what I do best I guess. Make lists of things to do so that I have a reason to procrastinate again. And with procrastination I have reasons to do things that I should not be doing as I have do things that I need to do. Confused? That's just the way I am.

And therefore, we have :

Annjili Gunendran's List of Things that She Should Do but Will Not Do.

Clean my room. This means mopping, sweeping, dusting, the whole works. Not just the cursory sweep of the broom on places that can be seen.
Laundry. The number of clothes has been piling up since econs paper 3 and this shameful neglect has dwindled the number of clean clothes I have to wear by half.
Clean the fan. I know this comes under cleaning the room but since I haven't done it since I've moved upstairs I think that it deserves a special spot on my list.
Pack for Kuantan. Finally heading back next Saturday.With all my stuff strewn everywhere and the amount of stuff I have collected during my tenure here has multiplied by at least 5, I would need a month to sort everything out properly. Unfortunately, I only have a week.

That's all I have for now I guess.

Now we have :

The List of Things that Annjili Gunendran will be Doing while She Should be Doing the List of Things that She Should be Doing but Will Not be Doing.

Watch all 160 movies she has on her laptop. In alphabetical order. This includes the foreign movies that has been downloaded without subtitles as well.
Learn a foreign language. Russian, Italian, Arabic, French or Spanish.
Pick up a few phrases from really, really obscure or dead languages. Either Latin or Sanskrit.
Read the 40 new books. Although I have finished 2, so I guess that makes it 38.

I'm going to stop my lists here so that I have an equal number of things to not do and do. (Reminder : Please get OCD checked out). Besides if I have too many things to not do I might just do what I do not want to do. Confused? So am I.

Sadly enough, after making these damn lists I actually feel like I have a purpose again and probably have enough motivation of propel myself out of bed for the next day or two until I feel that these lists are making me fall into a rut and write myself out another list of things to do until this happens again and again. And again.

The cycle is vicious alright.

Exam's Over.

2010-11-19T02:18:00.003+08:00

The finals are finally over. So now the rotation of :

sleep -> eat -> study -> procrastinate -> watch videos -> attempt to study -> fail to fulfill attempt -> read -> watch more videos -> lepak on the balcony -> eat -> eat(no this is not a mistake) -> sleep -> study

has now been reduced to :

sleep -> read -> eat -> sleep -> watch videos -> sleep.

Can I get a HALLELUJAH?

11/11/2010

2010-11-11T06:26:00.002+08:00

2 more papers left to freedom.

2 more months left of the year.

This no writing thing did not do anything to help me concentrate for the exams. You know why? Because all I seem to do is get inspiration and think about what I am going to write as opposed to uhhh, memorizing what reforms are needed on the road of market economy. I know I've said this before, but I really, really have to say it again.

I hate Economics.

Let me say it again because it feels so good, I hate Economics.

And the fact that the date of my freedom has been postponed because of 2 more Economics paper is not helping me like the subject at all.

I probably wouldn't have minded the subject if I didn't have to take an exam on it, if I were to learn Economics just for the sake of knowledge I guess things would be different. Like this for instance : World's Most Dangerous Man. But the fact that I have to learn the motherfreggin' subject for the sake of studying has just caused more and more resentment to build up and well, we all know what resentment does to us, don't we?

It piles up, higher and higher until the mere mention of the particular thing/person is just blergh. And let's see how Aria had caused me to resent Economics shall we?

Resentment can result from a variety of situations, involving a perceived wrong done to an individual, and often are sparked by expressions of injustice or humiliation. Common sources of resentment include publicly humiliating incidents such as accepting negative treatment without voicing any protest, an object of regular discrimination or prejudice, envy/jealousy, feeling used or taken advantage of by others, and having achievements go unrecognized, while others succeed without working as hard. Resentment can also be generated by dyadic interactions, such as emotional rejection or denial by another person, deliberate embarrassment or belittling by another person, or ignorance, putting down, or scorn by another person. - Wikipedia.

So dude, I'm guessing that you have to rethink your teaching methods don't you? And repeating old jokes doesn't not maketh you a funny man.

Okay, I know it sounds like I bearing a grudge and I most probably am. But, come on lah.

Anyhow. It feels good to write again. It's kind of detox of the mind isn't it? Letting everything out of your mind so that you're free to concentrate on what you should be doing as opposed to thinking about crap that shouldn't really matter. Because if you don't let it out there it will just be going around and around and no matter how much to try to keep it at the back of your mind, you are going to think about it. By letting it out, you can stop thinking about it since you've actually confronted by the fact the matter exists substantially instead of a thought flitting about your head.

There is no conclusion to this post as it is another inconsequential piece where I try to say something without really saying anything.

But I will leave you with this, I will be back.

With vengeance.

Comma.

2010-09-16T20:21:00.002+08:00

Shameful neglect is my middle name.

I know I owe this blog a whole load of posts.

but the debt shall only be repaid after my exams.

gunendran, out!

*for those who do not get this, go watch Californication!

Malaysia's funniest and tragic court video (Part 1 of 8)

2010-08-28T22:25:00.000+08:00

Step Up 3

2010-08-26T21:37:00.001+08:00

‘Ello, ‘ello.

Had a good day today. :) Went to class early for Tort and found out the exam I studied for was cancelled. So Lim said let’s go Midvalley watch movie. Let’s just say, I wasn’t feeling too kindly to the lecturer la, so hehe.

Step Up 3. Okay, dance movies basically have the same formula right?

Struggling dancer(s) –> Someone finds out about their talent –> Join some competition –> Some nemesis comes and effs things up/betrayal –> Someone does some major sacrifice –> They win whatever competition they join with some epic dance moves –> Everyone lives happily ever after (Basically lead actor/actress gets the girl/guy).

The only things that makes each movie watchable since we know what’s going to happen in the end is the dance moves.

AND I WAS BLOWN FRIGGIN’ AWAY.

And since I’m too lazy to look for the ones I liked, I’m just gonna put the trailer here so that I don’t look like I’m leaving my sentence hanging lol.

Hahaha. Epic shit right?

Plus male lead looks so like a Gucci model. Didn’t think much of his face expressions, was focusing too much on the face itself. =D

Brooding eyes, perfect hair, the works.

ANDDDD!

They brought back Moose! He was like my favourite character from Step Up 2. To be honest, Step Up 2 didn’t cut it for me. The lead’s acting was a bit wonky for my taste.

He’s so friggin’ adorable. that hair and that smileee. hee! *drool*

Next movie I want to watch, The Adjustment Bureau.

It’s another one of those mindfucking movies again.

Bring IT ON!

it’s very the Inception apparently, since I haven’t watch Inception yet. (omg, I know damn outdated lah)

Okay, I’m going to go now.

need to absolve my guilty conscience but studying something today.

45 days more omg.

=)

2010-08-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow.

2010-08-25T00:58:00.003+08:00

I don't know what to feel today.

It's like filled with so many good and bads, I don't know whether to feel irritated, sad or happy.

Woke up this afternoon with a massive headache. Saw a few things that just really 'made' my day, ya know?

Got my ass down to studying. Then got sidetracked and watched a movie. The Jones, which was quite interesting even though there was like no connection between the movie and me. Studied again after that.

Went walking in the evening. Explored this abandoned house near Jalan 5/4 with Sukhi and Kamini. That was some freaky shit. Broken windows, creepy stairs, abandoned packets of food and really, really weird architecture.

Had awesome bakuteh with Kamini for dinner. Totally worth the 14bucks I paid for it.

Had girl talk with housemates. Sometimes, I really thank god they're here. :)

Ber-emo with people because of Sharon Lau! *just so you know babe, I'm still tearing up, even though you've only left for a day ='(

And now it's tomorrow. Let's hope it'll be better than yesterday. =x

2010-08-25T00:52:00.001+08:00

Geez, it's like you're obsessed.

Do I look like a give a fuck?

Bittersweet, the way I wish things wouldn’t be.

2010-08-23T23:56:00.001+08:00

Just got back from KLIA after seeing Sharon off. =(

Feeling damn sad now. Can’t believe I’m only going to see her in the flesh only next year. In July no less.

Come back cepat-cepat okeh? Missing you already.

=’(

1.13am.

2010-08-22T01:12:00.002+08:00

Frustrations, irritations and temptations.

Oh yes, I'm back alright. And it is time to let it all out again.

Let's start with frustrations shall we?

Well, it's you, you and you. Oh, but one of the you's is an irritation as well. Eh, who cares. Lets mix it all up. What's the point of being neat and orderly on the outside (or at least in my blog because I know you guys have seen my: when I'm late for class but still make an effort to go for class look) when it's all messed up inside?

I had a good day. Scratch that. I had quite a nice day, apart from the 4 and a half hour lecture. Went to Chinatown (shall blog about that later, since I'm not in the freaking mood now).

Why do you have to spoil things? Seriously. Being petty and busybody and so motherfriggin'ly calculative? Why do you butt in? What on earth makes you think that you're so great that EVERYBODY wants to listen your opinion? Trust me, no one gives a fuck man. And then, when somebody shoots down your theory, what do you do? Make a fucking big deal out of it. Drag in something that is so totally unrelated, something with the slimmest connection in the world and slam in down on us. I'm immature? YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE FUCKING MENTALITY OF A FIVE FUCKING YEAR OLD. Fuck your age, fuck what you used to mean to me. Just fuck you. I known you for so long, all my life and this is what you give me? An opinion that I didn't even ask for and have no intention of taking? And then you get offended once I accept what you say and don't practice it. I'm giving you respect for who you were. Don't even think that I'm giving you respect for who you are now. Wonder why, almost everyone that has been in constant close contact with you have drifted away? All those years wasted because of your petty arguments. Stop making motherfucking mountains of of motherfucking molehills. I'm sick and I'm tired of it. I'm IMMATURE aren't I? So, stop trying to talk to me like a mature adult. Stop fucking peppering me with your stupid opinions that I don't care for. How about leaving me alone? I don't mind. In fact, I don't even care. People move on and hey, people moved OUT. If I'm fucking immature, what about the people around you? Obviously I won't say anything because I still have a shred of respect for them but I've lost it all for you. You mean almost next to nothing to me now, you pretending to have your perfect life, your perfect family, your perfect everything. Let me tell you something about your definition of perfect, it's nothing like mine. My priorities are different, my needs and wants are beyond what your shallow mind thinks it should be. The way you brag, the way you put me down, isn't it a tad embarrassing for a person your age? Heck, it would be embarrassing for a person MY FUCKING AGE. Grow up lah come on. Times are changing GEDDIT? Age and beauty means nothing, not with a personality like yours. Hey lady/man/shemale, I've never disliked anyone with this much venom before. And realize, that I'm still using the word dislike instead of hate because I'm giving you the benefit of the fucking doubt. Because I remember who you were and what you meant to me in my past. I understand what you've been through and am trying to understand what you are going through now and I still wanna respect you, I really do but there are limits, which are stretching beyond what they should go but still I hold back, because I want to believe that you're doing this unintentionally and you can still change. And no, I'm not asking you to change for me. But how about changing for yourself? (HOW'S THIS FOR FUCKING MATURE?) Everything you've preached to me about qualities and values, do you think that you're practicing this? Do you think that everything that you told me a person should be, you are too? Do you? Really? Trust me, is honest is what everyone is to you, I'm the goddam pope.

Oh hello you. Yes, I've moved on to the next you. But I've decided to make the last two you in a single part because the both of you are equally narcissistic that both of you think that this you would be you. If the you above meets the both of you, you guys will be beyond immature, since that is what I am. People, please use the rational mind. Do not put me in a position where I have to choose between two sides. The two sides which I do not want to go against off. I yearn to live in a conflict free environment, I really do. No matter what I say about the job that I'm going to do, there is a difference. You see, I will get paid to work. I don't get paid to live my life. There is a reason why I am hardly communicating to anyone right now, it's because I have to get my priorities right. You know what? You three yous will get on just fine because the three of yous are the three most calculative people that I know. What do you get from being calculative is beyond me. I've known you for so long, in fact I've known the both of you all my life. There is nothing that I would change about that. The ups and downs, the fun and the crying. Everything would stay exactly the same the way I've experienced it. I love you all to bits I really do but sometimes, there's a part of me that pulls away. The part that knows what you are capable of and what might happen if I get sucked in to what you do. I seen friendships fail with you guys and your friends. I've seen what you can do and when it does. You go through the first three steps just fine, the crying, the bitching, the backstabbing but the both of you have never gone through the last two most important steps, which is forgiving and moving on. Every friendship, every relationship that I've watch you lose, I've never seen you regain it back. You say what is meant to be will be but that is utter bullshit. BULLFUCKINGSHIT. You know why? It's you. It's Y.Ofucking.U. Nothing more, nothing less. I want to be nice, I really do but come ON. Grow up. Fucking immature, talking in that fake cute voice that you think will make people like you? Think that hanging around the right people is enough? Give up alreadylah. Stop fishing for compliments, nobody means it anyway. When you find out that they don't, what do you do? Backstab, backstab, backstab. Backstabbing the people that are your friends with is not the best way of keeping them you know. And why the hell do you tell me? Your problems are not my problems especially when I have bigger ones of my own to worry about. And do the both of you know why I don't tell you my problems? Because I know about your fucking reliability. You know what you would do once I tell you? TELL SOMEONE ELSE LA. JUICY GOSSIP WHAT. motherfucker. I keep my life sliced away into little pieces, each fed into different areas and people. It's not being superior or unfriendly, it's just plain strategy. I know what I want my life to be like and so I plan it so that it ends up that way. There are people who know parts of my life in depth, but nobody has the bigger picture. That is only for me to see, to scrutinize and to examine. I don't need your lousy judgments, if I want it I'll ask for it. If not, try butting out. Tell me what you want, but hey keep the hypocrisy out of it. If you're doing it yourself, don't complain. Or if you want too, at least admit that you are. Is it so hard to judge yourself when you spend so much time judging others?

There are people that I've known for years, people who I've loved and hated becoming a immaterial part of my life right now. Some even people who I would have never expected 3,4 years ago. I want all of three of you in my life, I really do. You are people that I've loved and cherished but sometimes space is all I need. But what you need is retrospection. Think about who you were, who you are and what you want to be. Are you even on the right track? Are you sure that I am not on mine?

I know what I fucking want, but do you?

Sometimes, a picture is definitely worth a thousand words. or 11.

2010-08-21T01:09:00.001+08:00

mindfucked.

2010-08-18T16:04:00.002+08:00

Haha. mindfucked.

credits to : celebritythoughts.tumblr.com.

Wo she hua ren. =D

2010-08-18T01:34:00.001+08:00

Proof I can totally hold my own in a chinese conversation.

Take that!

lalala. Aren't you proud me? =D

and okay, I have no idea to use blogger uploader for pictures.

so, if you really, really, really wanna read this crap.

I have no idea how to help you.

*****

I did it! Managed to enlarge the damn thing! =D

=(

2010-08-16T22:25:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it hits you.

Fuck this emotional bullshit.

Fuck you.

Fuck everything that reminds me of you.

Screw everything that made me think that we had a chance.

Just.go.away.

High as the sky,

2010-08-13T04:41:00.002+08:00

I'm so freaking high right now I don't even know whether i'm typing straight. I've been waiting all night for the fucking meteor and the sky's cloudy and I can't see a thing.fuck fuck fuck.

bosannyer. I don't even know what i'm typing right now. I could go to be bed and wake up in the morning regretting this. Opps, did I say morning? I meant afternoon.

sorry people. the only thing i feel like typing now is :

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA.

and there's a huge can on ridsect in front of me so that I can kill the mosquitoes that are attacking me at the balcony.

lalalallalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalala.

I want to eat konlo mee. =D

i seriously hope that I don't regret this post in the morning. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA.

There's a huge white cat crossing the street right now. It belongs to the neighbours across the road. I know because it's bells are jingling.

Okay. I lied. I can't hear the bells. Music is blasting thru my headphones. I know it's the neighbour's cats because it usually sleeps on Kamini's car and I saw it jump down from it. HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

STUPID MOFO METEOR.

I CAN ONLY SEE LIGHTNING.

BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO GO TO BED.

REQUIRED TOO MUCH EFFORT.

i'm spraying ridsect everywhere since mosquitoes are attacking me.

I hope I don't die from ridsect inhalation. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

I'm gonna go attempt some econs now. I hope I don't write crap.

Instead of hitting the mosquito I slapped my own hand.

Awefriggin'some.

BAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

Coversations With Ms. Nair. =DD

2010-08-12T18:19:00.003+08:00

Hahha, this is too irresistible to not post.

Part 1 :

17:26Kartialiny

annju guess what?

sathya is going for a swim..

hahahahahahahahahaha

17:26Me

HAHHAHAA

and you know this how?

17:27Kartialiny

he just told me..

hahhahahaha

17:27Me

euwwwwwwwwww

hahha

17:27Kartialiny

he said he is enjoying life

17:27Me

you chatting with him ka?

hahah

17:27Kartialiny

he went away already

for awile..yes

going for a swim wat

michael phelps in the making

hahahaha

17:28Me

GAHAHAHHAHA.

terrible la you.

hahhaa

damn i wanna go swimming too

17:28Kartialiny

with him?

how romantic

17:28Me

euwwwwwwwwwww!

euwwwwwwwwwwwww!

i rela go swim in the longkang.

17:29Kartialiny

hahahahahaha

so badlah you

he would guide you

17:29Me

hahaha

17:29Kartialiny

then you can compete with him in the future

17:29Me

lol

you go swim with him la.

17:30Kartialiny

nooooooooooooooooo

i rather drown then learn how to swim

17:30Me

HAHAHHAHAHHAA

Part 2 :

i'm not scared of anybody

17:36Kartialiny

yeah rite

17:36Me

nope

17:37Kartialiny

scared of erny kan?

17:37Me

hahaha

nope!

you're the one scared

sampai ='(

17:37Kartialiny

hahahahahaha

i where got cry with her?

only leman lah

17:38Me

hahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahah

17:38Kartialiny

i am not scared of mee goreng all k

17:38Me

OMG

i forgot we used to call her that.

mee goreng wey!

Kartialiny

hahahaha

that was a good one from you wey

17:39Me

hahaha

17:39Kartialiny

damn damn damn damn funny

17:40Me

i know

we were terrible buggers in high school weren't we?

thank god we're such mature people now.

17:41Kartialiny

i am lah..

but i am not really sure about you..

hahaha

17:41Me

Ouch!

since when i wasn't mature?

Kartialiny

since you were born lah annju..

dint mature

17:42Me

fine!

at least i'm not afraid of cockroaches.

17:43Kartialiny

alalalla..merajuk pulak dia

Part 3 :

18:01Kartialiny

i dint know that

18:01Me

now you do

18:01Kartialiny

yes

thank you lawyer

18:01Me

welcomeeeeeeeeeeeeee future sam graduate

haha

what are you going to do after SAM?

18:02Kartialiny

so lame man my title

maybe engineering

18:02Me

aha

kartialiny nair (eng)

or sumthing like that.

i wanna do PHD.

i want a doctorate

18:03Kartialiny

permanent head damage

18:03Me

HAHAHAHAHA

18:03Kartialiny

i also want

damn bergaya wei

Dr.kartialiny nair

Part 4 :

Me

welcome to the club

how i wish dreams come true

18:07Kartialiny

me too=))

18:10Me

then you can marry srk.

right right?

18:11Kartialiny

srk and david beckham and tom cruise and ...

aston kutcher

18:11Me

berapa orang you mau kahwin la

18:12Kartialiny

banyak lah

18:12Me

polygamist betul

hahhaa

18:12Kartialiny

you are there wat to take care of the possible prob that may arise

18:13Me

hahahhaha

i see

no wonder you don't want my help now

18:13Kartialiny

i save the last for the best

18:14Me

hahaha

don't you mean best for last?

Candy coated misery.

2010-08-10T23:58:00.002+08:00

Haha, the post title is from Carrie Underwood's Cowboy Casanova. The line just stuck so I decided to use it as my post title. (cough, this how you use words for your title if you don't know what to put. =P)

Whaddup peeps!

I'm sorry for another redundant post but I seriously am too lazy to go and bathe. For the record, I was lazy since 7pm and it is now 12.10am.

whooopsie. haha.

Anyway! Has anyone noticed the lack of songs to listen to these days? It all seems to be country or house music. or Gaga. ugh. Or maybe it's because I download albums instead of singles (err legally if you are here to arrest me) so I've heard most of the stuff before they are released. And when they are, I've moved on. gah.

And this scenario, I am reduced to listening to Hall & Oates.

If you have to ask me who they are, go shoot yourself.

You know the songs on Mix.fm which you can sing along too but not know what the title is or who the singer is?

That's Hall & Oates.

Oh yes, this is Hall & Oates. Complete with the mullet, 'stache and floppy hair. p/s : Ross totally rocked the look when they did the flashbacks in Friends.

And, besides Hall & Oates. I'm addicted to this one song. Which I sing all day. Put on repeat and click previous when the song has finished.

The ARCHIES! Sugar sugar lol. Oh honey, honey. Be my candy girl.

I bet i'm getting the lyrics wrong but who cares?

lalala.

OH. A lil' note to everyone.

Annjili Gunendran is broke. So,

CAN WHOEVER WHO OWES ME MONEY PAY ME BACK?

WHAT THE FUCK AM I?

A CHARITY ORGANIZATION?

GET YOUR DONATIONS SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Promptness will appreciated.

That's all. :)

=D

2010-08-09T12:57:00.002+08:00

Finished my notes! 1 more chapter to go for AS. :)))

*but, I missed class today. Not intentional skipping this time. I've got allergies eeee.

Sorry Cherlyn for missing your b'day thing. Have an awesome time with the peeps aite?

(put choice of non-pervy title here)

2010-08-09T03:11:00.004+08:00

Hahaha. Now you guys can't say that I have a pervy title for my post. Here I am again at another sad attempt at procrastination. *I swear this word is so overused in my blog.

(Goes to thesaurus.com)

And the new word I am going to use in replace procrastination is...

*drumroll please*

BOONDOGGLE!

Doesn't it sound like the cutest thing?

*god I sound damn bimbotic here.

lalala.

Anyway, in relation to my previous post I had, in fact, set a few goals for me to achieve yesterday.

Lets see what I have done shall we?

Econs notes. - Nope. It's 3.24am and I'm still in chapter 6. (insert look of horror here)
Study law. - Obviously NOT. Since I haven't even finished econs.
Climb up stairs 30 times. - HAHAHAHHAHA.
Drink Milo. - Err, I had Dominos. Whoopsie.
Make bed. - I DID, I DID! but I messed it up again by sleeping on it immediately after.
Sleep earlier. - Weeeeelll, it's 3.26am now.
Don't watch a movie. - I DIDN'T. *runs around screaming for joy.
Don't watch Leverage. - 2 episodes. (shamefaced)
Don't NOT set alarm - Well, I haven't slept, so no alarm set.

Hrmm.

Maybe I shouldn't have gone for the impromptu shisha session with Sukh and Jabby.

Nahh, then I wouldn't be able to watch MU win the shield. Hehe.

Sucks being Chelsea fans today right?

IN YOUR FACE!

Okay, off to try to finish my notes.

And I swear I have the weirdest songs.

Maiden with flaxen hair wtf.

diiiiingo.

2010-08-09T02:22:00.001+08:00

Just realised that the video didn’t come up in the previous post. Bangang la stupid blogspot. That’s why I blog with Windows Live Writer.

Anyway, here’s the video.

Quickie.

2010-08-08T16:13:00.002+08:00

haha. Just realized how pervy my post title sounds. But I'm not gonna change it tho, it's not like you guys can see it.

lalala.

Am currently procrastinating due to extreme hatred to economics. Even the fact that I am not allowing myself to start on law until I finish my notes for chapter 6. *I know, I'm hopelessly behind. PLUS there's going to be a law exam in 2 weeks, ADR, Tribunals and Sentencing. Haiyoo. Plus there's Tort and Contract to start memorizing.

And I'm hoping some kind economic god is going to swoop down and help me understand the freaking subject in 3 months. O.o

FML.

Plus, I forgot all about the clothes that I left to soak in fabric softener last night. Therefore, I had to put off sleep for 1/2 an hour to get the clothes done. Which meant that I slept at 7am today.

AND, Jasbir calls me at 7.30 to go HIKING. Which I managed to get out off but now I think I'm officially screwed when I go up Kinabalu. Halfway sure mati ady.

Okok.

Today's resolutions :

Finish economic notes.
Start studying for law exam.
Climb up stairs 30 times today.
Drink only Milo for dinner since I had an extremely heavy lunch which took me about 3 hours to finish. *I usually finish my food in 15mins no matter how much of food's on my plate (or in this case, styrofoam) so this is freaking slow. AND I had a Coke with it since I was craving for it since last week.
Make bed.
Sleep earlier so that I can wake up for Aria's class tomorrow.
Don't watch a movie.
Don't watch Leverage.
Don't accidentally "forget" to set alarm for tomorrow morning.

Damn, my day is sounding dead depressing. Plus, half of it is almost over since it's 4.30pm.

I need to become lifeless lah.

I need to stop writing crap on my blog and get my ass to studying.

And yes, I do realise that I am still putting off studying by writing pointless lines on my blog.

Oh. I'm totally in love with this song. :)

Had it forever, but I heard the remix yesterday. And now it's on replay again.

and again.

Boredom strikes again. and again. and again.

2010-08-07T16:59:00.002+08:00

How's it going peeps? CAL exams are like 2months away. And I'm panicking. DAI.DAI.DAI. I just realized how dumb is it that I am actually taking exams which are so similar to SPM only that there are less subjects now. Which is freaking ridiculous since LLB is going to be like that all the freaking way. Exams based only. Which means that I can goof off early in the year tho. Which is not that bad. And first year grades are not taken into consideration, only second and third year for honours. Which means that I can just pass for my first year. =DDD

Anyway. I'm sleepy again. Body clock so freaking screwed now. I slept at 7 yesterday and woke up at 11. Slept at 6 this morning and woke up at 1. And now it's 5. It's a sign alright. A sign that I shouldn't be living in M'sia.

OHHHH. I cleaned the kitchen, toilet and bathroom. Feel free to faint in awe of my domesticness. All that's left now is the hall and my room. Which I can't bring myself to do due to reasons. (see above).

Why am I even writing this?

It's so freaking ridiculous.

And. Why are you reading this?

Don't you have a life?

and. I'm off to bed. Who cares what time is it?

=)

2010-08-05T18:57:00.002+08:00

To sleep or not to sleep.

That is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer.

Okaaay. Super tired now. But it's 7pm and I know if I sleep now my whole cycle is going to be screwed again. I would do what I did on Tuesday and not sleep the whole night but there's Econs & Contract tomorrow. So essentially, if I sleep now, I'm completely fucked for tomorrow's class. Which reminds me also, I need to print out the Acts for Contract which was due 2 weeks ago and also text someone who's actually been going for class on whether there's any homework for Econs. Holy shite. That's what I get skipping class last week since I followed yuwey back to Kuantan.

But I'm so so sleepy. My eyes look so sepet right now, I could be Chinese. xDD

Do not get offended yellow-skinned people, I am half too.

So, I am entitled to insult both the Indians and the Chinese.

Woot. Rocks being chinDIAN. =DDDDD

Okay. Post makes no sense to me at all. A sign that I should be sleeping.

Baibai people.

I could use another cigarette.

2010-08-05T02:00:00.001+08:00

I could use another cigarette.

But don’t worry daddy, I’m not addicted yet.

Listening to Sara Bareillies’s Come Round Soon.

Addiction(n.) – the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice to do something that is psychologically and physically habit forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that it’s cessation causes severe trauma.

-Dictionary.com.

I was watching Gia, which inspired me to write this. When I say inspired, I mean that for once, it got me thinking about something profound instead of all the superficial shit that runs through my mind. I mean, it was an awesome movie. Not awesome in the sense that the graphics were good or that it had an amazing plot. But awesome in the sense that it really gave me a chance to think. To have so much of shit happen to someone, for someone to actually go through what she had gone through.

“Life and death. Energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for being allowed to walk where I’ve walked, which was hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it and above.” ~ Gia Carangi.

Of all the blockbuster movies out there, they’ve never touched the subject of addiction the way an indie or a documentary does. Fuck, none of the movies that I’ve watched had touched addiction the way this movie did. Because, fiction hardly ever comes close to real life. But really, I want to really know what being truly addicted means. To have complete dependence on something else that it holds the very core of your being together. I’ve never been a junkie, a smoker, a cutter or a drinker. But is it all there is to be a addict? That the only 4 choices that I have to find out what I desperately want to know is destructive to my mind, body and soul?

Is it worth it all? That is what that I really want to know. And it seems that the only way that I can find out is to being an addict myself. But to have the courage, or some might even say the stupidity, to actually be addicted to something is something that I truly lack. There mere fact that I may be handing over the very reason of my living to something other than me is, quite frankly something that is so frightening and incomprehensible as I do not want to not be in control of my life. I want every reason of my living be my choice and no one else’s. But I want to know. I really, really want to know. And no, this is not a justification of me spiralling out of control in the near future but this is mere curiosity. Curiosity killed the cat you say? Fuck it, I’ve never liked cats anyway. I want to feel the feeling of reckless abandon when you do something that you know will bring no benefit or enjoyment except for right now. Smoke now, drink now, shoot now, snort now and be happy now. Who cares about later?

I could do it if i wanted too. I’m not being narcissistic here, but anyone could do it if they wanted to. IF they are brave or afraid enough of the future to let go. It’s just the matter of whether their sense of curiosity is strong enough. To fall completely and irrevocably for something. That line sounds like I am talking about love, don’t it? Falling completely and irrevocably. Think of it, the principles are just the same. Putting your life into someone else’s hand. To have them hold your seams together for you. Every decision that you make, you will consider them as well. If you were a junkie, before you spend any money you would calculate how much you will have left and whether it’s enough for you to buy your next stash. Same goes for cigarettes. And liquor. What about love eh? Well, trust me the money would be dully considered before being spent. But with love, it doesn’t cause undue harm on us right? No AIDS, no liver failure, no lung cancer, no unsightly scars on your wrists? So, love equals to no harm, at least none of which that can be seen. So, is love the answer? Is it the only non-destructive addiction there is on the planet?

I beg to differ. The worst addiction that you can have is love. Because there is no measure of control at all in love. At least by drinking, smoking, cutting and doing drugs, you will only be in a figurative loss of control. There is still a measure of yourself that you can regain if you go off track. It will be your decision and your decision only. You can change if you want to. You can stop if you want to. And you can start again if you want to. But in love, there’s no way to force someone to love you again once they’ve decided to stop. There’s no choice that you can make except to accept the change. There’s no way to regain what you had. Drugs, cigarettes and alcohol may break your mind and body but love breaks your heart. And once that’s broken, all you have left is the pieces. There is always going to be this void where all that is in it is a poignant memory. And then you become addicted to something else. To try to fill the emptiness. Ever realise that? Once someone’s heart is broken, then drugs, cigarettes and alcohol will come in. Because the pain that materialism can cause is so inconsequential compared to what feelings do us. The highs and the trips and the lows. Nothing does it better than the feeling love gives you. So, once love’s lost, it breaks us from within, love breaks our very soul.

Fuck this is confusing.

There’s just no ebb or flow with this.

All there is left is scattered thoughts and random memories.

This is too much for me to hold.

Universe doesn’t revolve around you, no matter how much you think it does.

2010-08-03T20:07:00.001+08:00

This is how a typical Annjili Gunendran day starts.

(please note, that this is the complete and uncensored version, please do not continue reading if you are under the age of 13.)

Wake up, check alarm.

“fuck, I overslept!”

Brush teeth, shower, change.

Run downstairs, get to the door.

“fuck, it’s locked. Where the fuck are my keys?”

Run back up the stairs. Search room for keys.

“fuck, I think I lost my keys. Where the fuck did I leave it!?”

Searches some more and realise that I already put the keys in the bag.

Checks watch again.

“Damnit, I going to miss the bus.”

Runs back downstairs. Opens the door with crappy lock and noisy grill which is in desperate need of grease.

Closes door and realises that I forgot to put on my flipflops.

Opens door, puts on flipflops.

Locks door, drops the lock for the grill, wake up half the neighbourhood with it.

Nearly step on dog poo while walking to the bus stop.

Watch out for bird poo falling from the sky also while walking to the bus stop.

Waits at the bus stop for bus while praying that the sun doesn’t shine nor will it rain since there’s no roof on the bus stop.

Waiting.

Checks watch/realise that I forgot to wear my watch.

“Where the fuck is the bus? I swear I’m going to die” or alternatively, “fuck, I forgot my watch. Now I have to keep taking the fucking phone out to check the time.” and then insert previous line.

Waiting.

Checks watch/phone again.

“fuck you RapidKL. Seriously, can you friggin’ come on time?”

Waiting.

Checks watch/phone.

“Eh, fuck la. I’m going to be late. Should I flag down a cab?”

Waiting.

“Thank fuck, it’s here.”

Intermission : My mouth is thankfully void of any MAJOR swearwords in college.

And this is how Annjili Gunendran’s typical day ends.

Leave college.

Walk to the monorail station to wait for the bus.

(Which I don’t have to do anymore since they messed up the roads and the bus stops right in front college now WOOT!)

“fuck la, it’s so freaking hot.”

Attempts to find shade behind the only plant in front of 7eleven.

Sees that someone is already standing behind the plant.

Mutters under the breath : “fuck you.”

Stands near the 7evelen door in a sad attempt to get some air-conditioning when someone opens the door.

Waiting.

Checks watch/phone.

“Damnit, I thought I got the timing right. Where the fuck is the bus?”

Waiting.

Ties up hair and look like a complete fool due to the extreme heat.

Waiting.

Sidestep drunk old men fighting.

Politely ignore the scary man asking you for money so that he can pay for his ‘bus fare’.

Waiting.

Checks watch/phone again.

Watches as every bus with a U7something passes by repeatedly.

Pray that the next bus is mine.

Waiting.

“fuck you, U75.”

Debates on taking a taxi home. Or at least taking the LRT to Taman Jaya.

Keeps on waiting because I am too cheapo.

Finally, sees bus.

“THANK FREAKING FUCK.”

Get into bus.

Pay bus driver.

Find a place to sit.

And pray someone doesn’t sit next to me.

Get back home.

Open the grill and drop the lock again.

This time on my own foot so the sound is slightly muffled.

mouthing the word “fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!” because Auntie Jessy might hear me.

Open door with sucky lock.

Close everything again.

Go upstairs.

Dump my bag.

Sleep no matter what time it is.

Amount of swearwords used in a typical day : 19. plusminuslah.

And now I bid you adieu.

It’s really time to bathe.

p/s : this is not the long post that I warned about. Stay tuned for more incoherent ramblings by me. =)

Lalala~

2010-08-03T08:10:00.000+08:00

Warning : Next post is gonna be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG one. :)

Killing Time.

2010-07-27T01:00:00.003+08:00

Supposed to be studying Statutory Interpretation for tomorrow's exam. But I'm here, writing this. Skivving as usual.

I have the soundtrack of the West Side Story blasting on the laptop. And I can sing out loud since Yaso and Kamini is not back from wherever they are.

So for the whole weekend, I've been singing and singing and singing. Until now, I don't even know what the eff I want to listen to anymore.

Jumping from musicals (and no, I do not mean the Disney crap) but actual musicals to Evanescence to Anya Marina to Ingrid Michaelson to Usher to Marianas Trench to Mika to Red to John Mayer to The Fratellis to Regina Spektor to AC/DC to a lil' bit of Jimi Hendrix and to.. you get the picture.

Going through my music collection, I see that I am a very confused child. I cannot make up my mind to stick to one genre. But dominating my collection is definitely my lepak singers. Norah Jones, Ingrid Michaelson, Corrine Bailey Rae, Amel Bent, Carla Bruni, Jason Mraz, Jamie Scott, Feist, Gomez, The Weepies, The Virgins, Jamie Cullum, Jamiroquai, John Mayer, Macy Grey, The Bird & the Bees.. and the list goes on.

But with this, I have equal amounts of rock, or commercial rock at least. The Fray, The Fratellis, The Pretty Reckless, Lifehouse, Story of the Year, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Filthy Youth, Until June, The Goo Goo Dolls, The Who, Switchfoot, The Rolling Stones, The Bravery, The Black Keys, FM Static, The Script, Motion City Soundtrack (which is an actual band, by the way. Not a soundtrack), Get Set Go and this is also going to go on and on and on.

And I have weird stuff like Albert Hammond Jr. which I cannot classify.

And I also have K.C & The Sunshine Band.

And Henry Belafonte.

And Miike Snow.

And Santogold.

And Matt & Kim.

And Cold War Kids.

Dear god, if I was my own mother I wouldn't know what to do with my child.

...

And this ends another redundant post from me.

Cheers!

Balfi!

2010-07-25T15:54:00.004+08:00

A week in Annjili Gunendran's life. :)

Monday, went for Econs. Aria was surprisingly nice that day hehe.

Tuesday, skipped ELS and went to Midvalley with Arjun, Lim, Kumar & Cherlyn. Watched Street Dance. I give it 5/10 for storyline. 9/10 for the effingly cool dance moves.

Wednesday, Jason Derulo. Hot body. But has even hotter dancers. Niresh has fallen in love lol. Dude's got too much of autotune going on, but still don't regret. A free ticket will always be thanked for.

Plus, there was a chick with mad hair who kept getting into everyone's way.

I swear, it is at least 2 inches above her head. -.-'

Thursday. Skipped Tort due to not studying for an open book test. Retarded I know, but I didn't know that it was an open book. The picture below is drawn by Sacha. Due to exam stress I think.

Friday, skipped Econs. Came extremely late for class due to bloody traffic jam. Paid 15bucks for a 10 buck ride. Ejjits.

Saturday. Had to run for the bus but caught them both WOOTS! haha. First time I was actually an hour early for class. People were amazed lemme tell you that.

Sunday, woke up at 7.30 with a splitting headache. Decided to not go for the King's class. Took 2 panadols and slept till 2. Studied abit of ELS and got distracted doing this.

And now with extreme guilt.

I leave you.

Wondering why you even read this post in the first place since doesn't even say anything of consequence.

Goodbye.

ps: I love getting free food. Balfi, a healthier version of balfi. Kicap chicken & mixed vege's lol.

pps : I am craving for Happy Restaurant's pau right now. Yuummm.

ppps : I hope the bloody laundry opens tomorrow. I.am.running.out.of.clothes.

Movieeeeeeeeeees.

2010-07-21T00:05:00.001+08:00

Have been watching a whole slew of movies this week.

Not a very smart thing to do since Econ’s AS mock is this week.

But, like Aria said, if I’m going to fail anyway. Might as well say that I had fun while doing it.

Sound advice dude. Real sound advice.

Somehow, among everyone of my friends I feel like the biggest slacker in the world. Seriously, Niresh and all are even staying back in college to study. After class, all I want to do is go home and sleep. Until it’s time for dinner. After dinner is movie time and then tido. Going to college really takes it out of a girl. Especially when the bus-stop does nothing to block the sun in the mornings. Half the roof blew off see. And while I was sitting under it wtf.

I live dangerously wey.

Neways.

I’ve watched :

1. The Killers.

Wah, seriously damn lame. The damn storyline is trying so much to be like Mr & Mrs Smith, but without the sexy. or the acting chops. or the excitement. or anything for that matter.

Overall rating : PHAILED. Not even worth watching.

2. Street Dance

Same old storyline, but epic dance moves. PLUS, it was a BRIDDISH movie. The accents were like yuuummm. :D

3. Austin Powers The International Man Of Mystery.

Don’t ask why. but YEA, BABY!

hehe.

Too malas to blog la.

Excited about seeing Jason Derulo tomorrow.

THANK YOU SHARON! :D

p/s Post.

2010-07-17T23:50:00.001+08:00

Fark, that’s one thick book.

Ohh, the sunrise that I watched during that super hyper-tuesday.

Okay whatever la, I know I don’t have a friggin’ DSLR, just a camera phone. But as long as you can see the difference enough already. =P

The dragon tattoo Sharon said I should get.

She said it reminded her of me haha. :P

But these two I liked,

But dragons are a maybe la. I think want my original three tattoos.

Okay, itu sahaja.

I’m off to take a stab at English Legal System.

Hopefully this statement does not turn literal.

12 Step Program.

2010-07-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

A twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems. Originally proposed by Alcoholics Anonymous(AA) as a method of recovery from alcoholism,^[1] the Twelve Steps were first published in the book, Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered From Alcoholism in 1939.^[2] The method was then adapted and became the foundation of other twelve-step programs such as Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Co-Dependents Anonymous and Debtors Anonymous.

- Wikipedia.com.

This process involves the following,

admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion;
recognizing a greater power that can give strength;
examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member);
making amends for these errors;
learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior;
helping others that suffer from the same addictions or compulsions.

So I’m wondering whether this can help me cure my hatred for Economics.

Step 1 : We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

Ohkay. I’ve admitted that I am powerless over economics, it has made my life hell.

Step 2 : Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

I believe that someone other than Aria can restore me to sanity.

Step 3 : Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

I have decided to turn my will and my life to the care of Colin Bramford, Keith Brunskill, Gordon Cain, Sue Grant, Stephen Munday & Stephen Walton as I understand them.

Step 4 : Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Err, I hate Economics till the point that I could go on a murdering rampage if I hear another joke about Liverpool or a Ferrari.

Step 5 : Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Dear God, myself & erm, Aria. I am sorry that I’ve skipped so many classes because Aria was boring the hell out of me.

Step 6 : Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready. *spongebob style*

Step 7 : Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Err, if I had any. =P

Step 8 : Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

1. Myself. And yes, I am ready to make amends to me.

Step 9 : Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Okay, I don’t know how to do this. Maybe I should start going for classes.

Step 10 : Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

I was wrong and going to be wrong when I continue skipping classes out of sheer boredom.

Step 11 : Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Aum.

Step 12 : Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Nope, not yet.

…

Didn’t work.

Dear god, please save me.

DAMN YOU ECONS.

Lit Night. :)

2010-07-10T00:59:00.001+08:00

Went for Assunta PJ’s Lit night.

The programme.

I’ve got to say I’m very impressed. Compared to stuff that you get in Kuantan, this was waaaaaay above our level.

And when I say waaaaayyyy above, I mean WAYYYY above.

Sound system, lighting, talent, basically everything.

VERY VERY IMPRESSED.

The stuff they did included ballet, musicals, Shakespeare and skits which were actually damn mothereffing funny.

A logo which I have not seen in a very, very long time. :)

Still, watching all these things made me miss high school. The spirit, the shrieking, the seeing your friends everyday.

The elation of pulling off something for your school.

The general feeling of just belonging to something.

The security of having your own place in the world.

Jeez. I feel like going back.

Just for another year.

We’ve been in such a hurry to grow up, we’ve never known what we were going to miss out on.

College is never the same as high school.

Growing up sucks. :(

Speaking of which,

My first own dry-cleaning bill. =d

Kuantan Fun. :))

2010-07-07T02:29:00.001+08:00

Epic weekend in Kuantan this week.

Left Jabby’s place at 8.00, uncle kindly dropped me off at the LRT so that I don’t have to take a cab. Since I had extra time, decided to go to BK and dabao something for breakfast.

Reached Masjid Jamek around 8.30, so I decided to cut it close and buy it anyway.

BUT IT WAS CLOSED. :(

So decided to go to McD’s since I was super hungry anyway.

And the lady making my hashbrown was so slow, I almost missed the bus.

HELLO, you’re supposed to be in the fastfood industry la. Move lady, MOVE.

Reached Kuantan around 1.30.

Went to play futsal at 2.30.

Our convoy lol.

And err this, I don’t really know how it got into my phone. :P

Sharon and her ‘injury’. Anybody who wants to know how she got it can ask me. =DDDD

It was friggin’ friggin’ fun.

But very very tiring. I wonder how the players in the World Cup play the full 90minutes.

And I did collect an amazing bruise on my knee.

Which is an awesome achievement since with my skin colour, it’s hard to see the blue-blackness. haha.

After that, Joulin, Sharon and I went to Airputih pasar malam. :)

We had fried kuey teow, a 1 ringgit satay, barley with something, taufufa, nasi minyak, and air tebu.

I see heart disease in my future.

And then at night, Germany versus Argentina at McD’s TC.

Awesome time, even with the rain and lightning.

26 nuggets, 3 large fries, 1 ribena, 1 coke and 1 orange juice.

You see, we do try to be healthy. :D

Sharon and Manhouw was all for Argentina.

So this was them, emo-ing after the match. nghehe.

And McD’s gave us this bangers or whatever you call them randomly.

This were used to whack Sharon whenever Germany scored. (cough4-0cough)

Reached home at 1am and took out a book to read and a bunch fell out.

So that led to this :

Yeap. Decided to clear the book shelves at 1am in the morning.

This are just the recent books. Not to mention the stuff I have in KL and what my sister has in UK.

Threw out about 20. The rest too sayang to give away.

I took me almost the whole of Sunday to make that, into this :

bangga weyh.

Went out for breakfast on Monday with MJ ‘cos she’s leaving soon. :’(

Then decided to hit Hyatt for pool.

And then, TC again!

Hee! Stood at the water’s edge for good hour at least with Yuwey and Sharon.

Good times. good times. :)

No prizes for guessing which is Sharon’s leg. =P

p/s : It’s been 2 days and I’m homesick already. :(

Oh, hello.

2010-06-29T20:03:00.002+08:00

It's weird that somehow, my life seems to suck even more when you're in it.

Okay, maybe it's not so weird.

You just seem to make my life crappier and crappier every time.

So effortlessly.

It's like a freaking superpower for you isn't it.

UGH.

Fads & Phases.

2010-06-23T03:28:00.001+08:00

You would think that spewing out 1000+ plus words would be enough writing for a day.

You would think that after letting all of that out, all you want to do is shut everything off and relax.

You would think that all that you would do now is nothing.

Well, I beg to differ.

It seems that the writing phase is back. Where all I can do is write. Assignments, studying, whatever productive that I can do will be unceremoniously thrust aside, to make way for a string of words. Typed on a laptop. Published in blogpsot. To be reread again by people. Whom I know or don’t know for that matter.

For writing heals the soul.

And no, I’m not talking about the egotistic posts that everyone puts up about their fabulous day, I’m talking about posts that has been posted about your opinion. The sentences which actually form a mature standpoint. To be read and understood by people to understand you. What makes who you are.

Be warned, the floodgates are about to be opened again.

But this time, the gates lead to a different garden.

A happier, somewhat less bitter and resentful garden.

How’s that for choosing to be happy?

Now, in spirit of being happy, I shall talk about something that’s going to make me happy.

A butterfly tattoo. on my shoulder blade.

A butterfly signifies a brand new start. Something that would actually apply to my situation right now.

I don’t get people who get tattoos that mean nothing. For me, a tattoo should have to mean something. A tattoo should not be done just for the sake of getting a tattoo, but to commemorate something that has happened in your life. Something important.

I want 3 tattoos. A butterfly, a worded tattoo and also a dancing monkey.

The dancing monkey is definitely to remind me to stay young at heart.

The worded one should be in a foreign language, am still debating between Sanskrit or Italian or Latin.

And no, it’s not going to be something stupid like I’m cool or Have a nice day (coughcough) but something very profound. or paradoxical. I haven’t picked.

And these tattoo are going to be on important dates too.

God, I’m being so Indian. Good date, good words. What’s next? Good time of day?

Anyway. Butterfly when I’m 18. So that’s going to happen before the end of this year.

Worded when I graduate.

Monkey when I’m 50 or my first million or married. Whichever that comes first.

So, that’s my life plan mapped out. Over a series of tattoos.

3 markers to etch my movements throughout my life.

Each with a meaning.

Each with a memory.

Each with a significance.

Holy crap, I didn’t know you could have tattoos in ears!?

But I want something like this :

Oh, and I cannot wait for my parents to freak.

But at least I’m matured enough to not get something stupid.

Like this :

So mum and dad, be thankful for a mature child like me. (coughcough)

Grievances.

2010-06-22T23:37:00.001+08:00

Grievances :

is a complaint about a real (or imaginary) wrong that causes resentment and is grounds for action.
is a wrong or hardship suffered, which is the grounds of complaint.
is a song by American rock band, Pearl Jam.
is a crime novel by American writer K.C. Constantine.
is something that causes grief; a complaint or annoyance; also a formal complaint.
is a complaint or protest based on circumstance.
The rest of Google’s definitions –> Click Here.

Well, today I am here to ~~talk~~ rant about MY grievances. In short, number 1,2,5 & 6. As I ponder about which subject which is currently irritating my life right now to start with first, I am cracking them fingers. So, those of you looking for a short read, leave now. This, is going to be a freaking looooooong post. And let me warn you now, all I am going to do is complain.

and complain.

Trust me, after reading what I am going to say later.

You.are.going.to.leave.irritated.

Enough disclaimers.

Let the rampage begin.

And I don’t know how to start. There’s just so many things overwhelming/irritating my life right now that all they do is want to come out one shot. Which is technically impossible since I’m writing all this shit down, and there’s no way I can just let it all out. And for my readers, the very few them out there, the least that I could do is write a coherent post for them to read right?

So,

The biggest thing that’s bugging me right now, is the lack of space. It’s not the physical space that I am craving. That I have enough of. It’s the figurative space that I need, the boundaries that I set has been and is being repeatedly being broken into. It may seem inconsequential to you, but it matters to me. But somehow, these boundaries only feel violated when certain people break into them. Somehow, I don’t mind when certain people bug me. It’s just you. And yes, this you does mean multiple people. If you are narcissistic enough to think that it’s you, it probably is. This metaphysical boundary that I have set up seems to have no problem with most of friends, but it just absolutely rejects the needy ones. The ones that cannot seem to live if they do not talk to me for at least a day. Then ones who bugs me the moment I sign it. The ones who cannot seem to understand that I do in fact, leave the laptop ON and go to SLEEP. Usually when it says I’m away, I am really away. I am not sitting obsessively by the laptop, refreshing facebook for the umpteenth time just to stalk people. My sleep is worth so much more than that. I can see a few people snorting derisively at the latter statement, but it’s true. I hardly ever stalk. Unless spurred on by certain people, I don’t care if this girl is dating that guy and that they both had the same ex or whatever. I DON’T FREAKING CARE. Somehow, as juicy as gossip can be sometimes, without sleep, I cannot and will not muster any amount of enthusiasm for it if I do not get my sleep. Forget talking to me for all that you are going to get is 1 worded replies. For if there is sleep to be had, sleep should be had first before ANYTHING else. Because sleeping is what I am, so therefore I am to sleep.

Get over it.

Okay, the next big thing that I would dearly love to slap in the face right now is this certain kind of people. The type that asks for your opinion and then decides to go with theirs anyway. Hello RETARDS, is there a point of you asking me for my opinion anyway? Just do what you want larh. Ugh. I know how much I say that I’m easy-going and relaxed, but this is THE thing that pushes me over the brink. Not a slight push, but a full out shove that will cause me to fall over immediately with nothing to hold on to so that I can save myself from blowing up. I don’t mind if you decide and tell me but if you ask me and say no freaking way, then seriously go to hell. Well into the depths of it. I mean if it’s backed up with sound reasoning then okay lah. But flat out reject it? Don’t ask la like that. Plus, reject my idea even though everyone else is agreeing with me just because you don’t want too, or are you just that insecure/control freakish/whatever that is you are?

Fark.you. Seriously.

Ohhh, the best kind of idiots that I would love to slap, is people that diss my friends. You do know that I’m friends with them, you know that I’m close to them and yet you bitch to them about me? And once you’re done, you look at me expectantly for a reply? Dude, I like them. In fact, I love my friends. No matter how flawed or how bitchy them seem to you, I know them. You DON’T. I know who they really are and what they are to me. I know that they’ve never done anything wrong to me. So why should I bitch about them too? Why on earth do you expect me to change my allegiances just because you don’t happen to like them? Just because they’ve done something wrong to you doesn’t mean that I have to hate them for you. I can choose my own friends thankyouverymuch. I don’t need you to dictate them for me. No matter how close or how long we’ve known each other, I will not change my preference for anyone. There is a certain moral value I would like to uphold, that is my independence. Stop bitching about my friends to me. Me not responding does not mean that I’m agreeing. Me not responding means that I would not like to start a conflict on this issue and I will just shut up until you finish and change the subject. But somehow, if you do manage to illicit a response from me, it’s going to be along the lines of “Why do you even care? Just leave it and move on with your life la.”

A little hint people : “Living well is the best revenge.” – George Herbert, poet.

Please let bygones be bygones. Because all that bygones are meant to be is just that, byfriggin’gones.

Okay, I’ll going to leave now. I had promised myself to stay under the limit of a 1000 words for my complaints. And I have grossly exceeded the freaking limit. And there’s lots more to say.

But for today, I’m going to stop.

And end this post with a very poignant phrase which I had ever heard in my life,

GO JUMP INTO A FREAKING WELL AND STAY IN THERE.

Good god,

no wonder people go for therapy.

You & I.

2010-06-17T01:38:00.002+08:00

Never been addicted to a song this bad.

don't you worry, there my honey
we might not have any money
but we've got our love to pay the bills

maybe I think you're cute and funny,
maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you,
if you know what I mean

Oh, let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France
let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
let's get rich and build our house on a mountain
making everybody look like ants
from way up there, you and I, you and I, you and I,

well you might be a bit confused
and you might be a little bit bruised
but baby how we spoon like no one else
so I will help you read those books
if you will soothe my worried looks
and we will put the lonesome on the shelf

oh lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France
let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
let's get rich and build our house on a mountain
making everybody look like ants
from way up there you and I, you and I, you and I

oh, lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
let's get rich and build our house on a mountain
making everybody look like ants
from way up there you and I, you and I, you and I

Can't Read Mine.

2010-06-17T00:59:00.003+08:00

The World Cup has started. So hello really late nights and erratic sleeping hours.

Gone were the days where I actually sleep on the day I wake up on.

Haha, my bathing schedule is out of whack. I now bathe at 12pm & 12am on the days where I ~~skip~~ miss class and Wednesdays which is the happiest day of my life since there's no freaking class.

But I digress.

I've always wondered how it would be like to betray someone completely. To fake sincerity and niceness and stab them right where it hurts.

To hold no duty of care whatsoever to the people you know. <--That's tort acting up.

To just abandon your moral obligation to whoever it is. To breach the trust that has been given and been expected to uphold. To disappoint someone so badly that there's no turning back.

Having no disregard of the consequences of what is going to come.

Is it even possible?

Not having the guilt factor in whatever you do.

Cheat, lie, steal, backstab?

But this disregard doesn't just apply for the negative actions. The abundance of positive effects that could happen if we choose to apply disregard is remarkable.

Having no disregard for the consequences is fact, the key to Carpe Diem.

Having no disregard allows you to take the plunge.

Having no disregard allows you freedom.

From vanity,

from vice,

from the very fibre that is holding us in our boxes.

The very boxes we were told to get out off.

God, I really need a good stoning session.

A figurative one, not literal.

Stop hesitating. This IS fate.

Good day.

2010-06-14T21:54:00.002+08:00

Update : Ran all the way from Sentral, crossed 2 busy roads and still managed to get the bus which was already there when I saw it. Woots!

12.59

2010-06-04T00:59:00.000+08:00

Hey! Waaazaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
12.59am. Another minute into the hour of today.
Sitting alone in the dining room while doing my economics assignment. By doing, I mean that I did 1(a) only. There's still 1(b), 2(a) & 2(b). Not to mention, I've neglected to revise any of my Contract, ELS and Tort. And I'm painfully behind in physics for someone. Because I'm so freaking kind hehe. How la like this?
And exams are 6 months away.
Holy crap.
Memories of SPM panic is coming back.
But in retrospect, SPM is nothing compared to what we're are doing now.
NOTHING.
It didn't prepare me to study on my own. I've been painfully dependant on tuitions and teachers that try to make us study in class, I cannot muster any amount of motivation for my A-Levels exams. And I'm only taking 2 subjects. I wonder how the hell people who are taking A-Levels for Science are taking it. Of course they're not doing express, but seriously. HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Make yourself sit down and study.
Concentrate.
Absorb.
Remember.
Apply.

Without any force, there's no way in hell that I am willingly going to plant my ass on that chair and revise.
No way, Jose.
No.
No.
No.
Just no freaking way.

I pride myself on being a rebel. But what kind of rebel can I really be if all I do is laze around all day?
I FAIL at rebeling.
I FAIL at being a nerd.
So, all I seem to being excelling at is at being NOTHING.

An absolute nothing.
Without me around, life would go on.
Without me around, the world would still revolve around its axis.
Without me around, the sun will still shine.
The rain would still fall.
People would continue living their lives.
completely unaffected.
with or without my presence.

So insignificant. So inconsequental. So nothing.

What difference would I make even if I tried?
WHAT?

Behind the taking it easy, behind all the scars, behind all the lies, behind this mask that I have on, behind everything that I've stood for all this while.

There is someone else.

Mooooooooooooo.

2010-06-03T13:59:00.001+08:00

Hello. I’m Annjili Gunendran and I am a compulsive nocturnalist. <--- Don’t even think that that’s a word but whatever.

I have not slept before 4 am in 6 days.

I have not woken up before 10 am in 10 days.

I thank you, ~~illegal downloading~~ studying.

RIGHT.

Hahaha. Anyway, I was watching Valentine’s Day again last night. I dunno why, prolly wanted to see my husband’s face again or something. *coughPatrickDempseycough* I’ve been shamefully neglecting my Grey’s Anatomy due to the lack of time. Of doing what I don’t know larh.

So anyway, I suddenly had a flashback while watching the movie. Jennifer Garner was driving a car and suddenly I remembered Amalen saying that she’s was gonna get into an accident. I was like, why?

Because of Alias. She always gets into accidents while driving the car in the stupid show.

HAHAHAHAHA.

It’s funny larh. Don’t roll your eyes, okay! =P

Then I remember watching it for the 2nd time with the girls. HAHAHA.

Even more epic time since we got to swoon together at them very HAWT guys. =)

yum.

Okayy. That’s it. I’m gonna go eat lunch now. it’s already 2pm and my stomach is protesting due to lack of food I have not stuffed in my body already. Pringle’s 100 here I come!

Oh and ABHI CHINNIAH.

Your post is on the works. Putting up the finishing touches already. =P

Scars are souvenirs you never lose.

2010-06-02T02:10:00.002+08:00

It's too easy to be depressed.

How about trying happy on for size?

Look at the stars and see how they shine for you.

2010-05-27T00:08:00.001+08:00

If we were all yellow.

I wondered what happened to the good old days? Before life became so complicated. I want to be 5 again. As we grow, we tend to think that life becomes harder for us. Does it? Or do we make it so? WE create the clique, WE create the drama and WE choose to be right in the middle of them. Popularity becomes craving just like addicts wanting their fix. We want to be included, to know things not everybody to know. We want to feel acceptance. But why crave acceptance? Why do we want to be included? WHY?

Why not be friends with everyone? How hard can it be? Be nice. Be thoughtful. And most of all, be Friendly. Don’t cause drama. Don’t get into fights. In fact, don’t even take sides. Because once you do, it going to be very hard to turn back. Because all the dirty looks, the eye-rolling and the bitching that you do will without a doubt, bite you in the ass. Hard. Do you even think everything is going to be the same after everyone’s made up and friends again?

Trust me, nothing ever stays the same. Everything changes. Maybe not on the outside, but on the inside there will always be this seed of doubt and uncertainty that will be there. The doubt that you had actually forgiven and forgotten and the uncertainty that you will never argue again. You, him, her, they, whoever it is can never pick up from where you left off because the nagging feeling that you have inside will never leave you. You second guess every statement, action or even look that is thrown your way. You learn slowly not to trust and start thinking that you’re living a lie.

And therefore, life is a constant fucking lie.

DEAL.WITH.IT.

Anticipation Always Leads To Blah.

2010-05-25T00:50:00.002+08:00

No seriously. Have you ever waited for something your whole life? That Ferrari or the mansion on the hills or even the deluxe Barbie you see in the window.

And once you get them, it's like blah.

Okay, maybe the Ferrari would take time but still, it would eventually lead to blah-ness. For one, trying to drive a Ferrari in KL would be such a waste since half the time you would be stuck in jams or a Kancil on the fast lane, thinking they're travelling at the speed of light. And, petrol will kill you. You're not even eating the miles away at the speed that you want but you would still have to pay for it. What would be the point? What you would need is a car that can go through other cars. OR you could get the Knight Bus. nghehe.

How about the mansion on the hills? All bright and shiny with glazed window and marbles. Just wait till you start cleaning. Or you may argue that if you're rich enough to have a mansion on the hill, there's bound to be a maid attached to it to clean it. All I have to say is, Indonesian maids. Is there a bigger headache than that? You'll be so stressed out half the time on the fact that she might run away, the house would just become meaningless to you. it becomes NOTHING.

Weeeell, the Barbie. All I can say is, they don't talk, walk and they're not even cuddly. WHAT'S THE FRIGGIN' POINT?

Till I find something more interesting to write about,

Goodbye.

Like living again.

2010-05-24T03:33:00.002+08:00

Just finished my economics essay. Considering how much I ‘understand’ the subject, I’m quite proud on how much I wrote.

3.05 am, Jasbir’s asleep and I’m typing as quietly as I can.

3.06 am, my sister is outside studying in the dining table.

3.07 am, loading Andra & the Backbone’s Selamat Tinggal Masa Lalu.

Which brings me to my point today, Andra.

All people remember them for is Sempurna, which is actually one of their okay songs. Stuff like Hitamku, Jalanku Bukan Jalanmu & Dan Tidurlah is way awesomer. Which leads me to think, are they categorized under 1 hit wonders? Or as an undiscovered artiste? They do have quite a following underground, right below the popularity radar. But in the terms of gen pop Malaysia, they are only known for Sempurna.

It’s like Peter, Bjorn & John or even Rooney. I mean I bet half of you have no idea who they are. But when you get into the right circles, all you can do is talk about them. It’s like this ‘katak dibawah tempurung’ factor. Once you get out from under there, all you can see is the world. Plus, with this technological age, no one is going to stay undiscovered. There is going to be a fan base and a following soon enough.

3.19 am, my sister has given up studying and has gone to bed.

3.20 am, I am the only person awake in this whole house.including the upstairs tenants.

3.21 am, I am not the slightest bit sleepy.and I have class at 10am tomorrow, which I have to go for since I finished my essay.

And now I realised that I have gone full circle, like a Möbius strip right back to my economics essay.

Fact : A Möbius strip is chiral, which means it has a handedness.

3.24 am, my lips are dry & cracked.

3.24.5 am, I am reaching for the Vasaline.

3.25 am, the most awesome Andra song is playing. Tak Ada Yang Bisa.

3.30 am, I am off to take a stab at sleeping.

~Tak ada yang bisa, yang membuat diriku jauh darimu.~

340.

2010-05-19T16:14:00.003+08:00

This post has been rewritten 3 times. because, there's nothing left to say.

Or is there?

I'm sick and tired.

of people.

of you.

of them.

of everything.

Time to move on sweetheart, or there never will be a tomorrow.

Lists.

2010-05-17T00:50:00.001+08:00

Time for Anju’s irregular but constant updates about the greatest emo songs that she’s hooked on too.

Because being emo is super fun.

And because FM Static’s Tonight is on repeat right now.

So, here it goes.

Anju’s Top 10 Emo songs.

for today at least.

1) FM Static – Tonight. (if you didn’t see that coming, seriously consider kindergarten again).

One of the best songs ever written. EVER.

“Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you, I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight”

2) Red – Nothing & Everything.

Killer ending and beginning.

“And it finds me
The fight inside is coarsing through my veins
And it's raging
The fight inside is breaking me again”

3) Mika – I See You.

Nothing short of spectacular.

“For fear of what you might do

I say nothing but stare at you

And i'm dreaming i'm trippin' over you”

4) Coldplay – Yellow.

Random, but still very very emo.

“Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow.”

5) Daughtry – What About Now.

Old but beyond amazing.

“What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?”

6) Owl City – If My Heart Was A House.

Need I even elaborate?

“Chills run down my spine
As our fingers entwine
And your sighs harmonize with mine”

7) John Mayer – Friends, Lovers or Nothing.

How apt.

“You whisper, "come on over"'cause you're two drinks in,
But in the morning I will say goodbye again.
Think we'll never fall into the jealous game?
The streets flood with blood of those who felt the same.”

8) One Republic – Secrets.

Again, very apt.

“Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away”

9) The Goo Goo Dolls – Iris.

Beautiful.

“And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am”

10) Anything by The Fray.

or everything.

Sometimes, a song can say it all.

2010-05-15T01:30:00.001+08:00

Point Blank.

2010-05-13T21:46:00.002+08:00

SCREW YOU.

I’m hearing voices in my head.

2010-05-13T03:51:00.001+08:00

Haven’t written anything in a long, long time.

nothing poignant or important at least.

somehow, nothing jumps out at me.

nothing that I desperately need to say or even want to for that matter.

politics? Nah.

college? Nah.

life in general? Nah.

What else is left?

Nothing.

how, amazing.

But how is it possible that I have absolutely nothing to write about?

I think, constantly. Most of my thoughts are superficial, but hey. It’s still thinking innit?

So now, I’m thinking whether it will be possible to write a post on having nothing to write.

Yes?No?Yes?

Er, maybe not.

I just feel blank.

And for once, it is a friggin’ relief.

Mummy!

2010-05-09T00:50:00.003+08:00

It’s 12.27am.

9th of May 2010.

Today, is Mother’s Day.

So mummy, thank you for all you’ve done. All of me and akka’s shit that you’ve put up with over the years. Just thank you. :)

Somehow, I can never ever imagine making a sacrifice this big for someone else. To nurture, care and cherish us the way that you’ve done. The late nights, the constant whining, the fights and the yelling. All the mean and unforgivable things that we said in a fit of anger, all the bitching that we’ve done, you never held it against us. Some things even I myself could not forgive myself for. But you love us anyway. So mummy. Thank you so friggin’ much. Thank you for being there. Thank you for taking care of me all my life. Thank you for being MY mummy. Just, thank you for being you.

I love you mother. I really do. :)

Photopost.

2010-04-29T00:00:00.001+08:00

Yo peeps. No words this time, just pictures. :)

The Bus Files :

1) Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.

2) I am floating away, lost in a silent ballet.

3) ‘Til I look at my hands a feel sad, ‘cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly.

4) And it’s safe to say there’s a bright light up ahead and help is on the way.

5) But drenched in Vanilla Twilight, I’ll sit on the front porch all night, waist deep in thought because, when I think of you, I don’t feel so alone.

6) It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep, ‘cause everything is never as it seems.

The Pool Series :

1) The truth’s out now, I’m secretly a Jedi.

2) Legs.

3) Black & White to Technicolor.

4) Frustrations.

5) You can’t have light without a dark to stick it in.

Finally, the only one from lights.

1) Supernova. Strobe light style.

Sunway.sunway.

2010-04-27T20:18:00.001+08:00

am in sunway right now. doing nothing. how amazing. why do you have chemistry exam tomorrow kartia. why?

Anyway, had sushi again after a very very very long time.

and all I’ve got to say is, baby octopuses rock!

Sound icky, but dey. I swear to friggin’ god.

IT GOOOD.

Sugar, We’re Going Down.

2010-04-27T00:50:00.001+08:00

Of two-faced lies and bitches. You treat college as a place to reinvent yourself, to be someone that you want to be, someone that you’ve never got the chance to be in high school. But the thing is, there are people of screw up that chance. The one sliver of hope that you get to be who you are. Not defined by rules or regulations. Not defined by cliques. Not defined by what you were. You move on from your old friends. You move on from your old lives. Why screw the opportunity?

I’ll tell you why. It’s because you don’t care. you think that you’re being perfect. or you may even think that you’re being unpretentious and true to yourself or whatever. but shit like that is crap. you’re plain lazy.

enough anger for one day. no it’s not just one person.

it’s many persons.

i’ve got lots to say.just wait.

Kindness is a friggin’ Virtue.

2010-04-19T01:00:00.001+08:00

Today, well today was a really fun day. :)

Travelled back to KL with my Subang gang.

Only person missing was Yong Sue Wen. Ish, budak nie. Dah la got break, still dunwan come back to Kuantan to lepak. Humph.

Introducing,

Kong Chien Yi, in all her pinkness.

Kartialiny Nair, finally smiling for a picture.

Ang Yu Wey, who actually mastered the art of being candid. nghehe.

Epic journey. Really epic.

Kong got left behind by the monorail. Literally got squeezed by the door, poor thing ~~haha~~ kesian. So, we had to get down at Chow Kit and wait for her so that she doesn’t have to travel all the way to Sentral aloneeeeeee.

That’s yuwey panicking and Kartia being all sadistic. Hrmm, you would think that it will be the other way around innit? Rahsia terbongkar already Kartia. Sadist!

Had dindin at OldTown. I wonder why, since Kong wanted Chinese and me and Kartia wanted Indian. And it’s not like we couldn’t get OldTown in Kuantan right? Stupid betul. AT LEAST GO FOR BURGER KING LA. :P

Anyway, I always get my BK fix before I go back to Kuantan. Because that place is so ulu, there’s no BK there. Sigggh.

Took a cab from Brickfields back home with them. Just in case a crazy cab driver decides to kidnap me. Fat hopes dude. Parents don’t have enough $$ to pay for my ransom all. They’ll set Ginger and Chutney on your trail. and then you’re screwed! nghehe.

Which reminds me, there was a Chutney look-alike in Brickfields today. :)

No picture tho, was busy lugging Kong’s super heavy Hello-Kitty laptop for her. haha. It’s okay la, since I packed super light. One super weeny tote and that was it. Proud!

Helped Jasbir do her Biology being the kind and noble person that I am.

Kan, kan?

She and her cool new laptop. Humph.

So, in reward for my extreme kindness, she makes me an iced chocolate. In a glass where she used to dump our fishies while she was cleaning the bowl. So, I might have contracted something. MIGHT.

Ice Chocolate. Yumm, but I think the fishes might have added to the flavour a little.

Finally, this.

Those who know, know. :)

I’m off peeps. But do give Albert Hammond Jr’s Spooky Couch a listen.

Just Because.

2010-04-18T01:01:00.001+08:00

Together baby, there’s nothing we won’t do.

I’m sitting here, waiting for something to happen.

Not something, anything.

My future still undecided.

What I want, isn’t what I need.

What you need, isn’t me.

It’s time to shoot down the stars.

And watch them fall slowly, painfully towards reality.

If I’m gonna dream, might as well dream big right?

2010-04-17T13:32:00.001+08:00

Introducing,

Anju’s future car, when she’s rich and famous.

(drumroll please)

A Ferrari Enzo.

I know that it came out ages ago, like erm in 2003 if I’m not mistaken.

Only 400 models out there. AND it typically auctions at US$1,000,000.

So, it’s going to cost me, RM3,192,500.11.

Holy fark.

Nevermind, I could win the lottery.

MAYBE.

Or maybe, by the time I’m actually rich and famous

This will be done already,

Looks friggin’ cool I know.

It’s the HY-KERS vettura laboratorio.

Ferrari’s first attempt at hybrid technology.

Read all about it here.

Hence, it’s greenness. :)

I also would kill to own this.

Completely useless but still.

Something to dipamerkan on my vast parking lot in the future.

Wishful thinking eh.

Still at this rate, I’ll probably be still driving this.

Laugh bastards, laugh.

Neways, I’m off. It’s time to shower.

FPA meeting at 2.30pm peeps!

Go!Go!Go! Support Family Planning. :)

p/s : I’ve realized that this is a very ungirly post, so here’s something to girlify it.

Happy?

Quickie Update.

2010-04-15T23:05:00.002+08:00

Blair & Chuck. :'(
Real laugh out loud episode of Glee.
Epic episode of House.
My Chuck links are missing.
Castle has been so-so.
There's no Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice this week. D:
I've got a new coussie. Joanne Tan! Pictures are going to be updated ASAP. =D

Goodbye & Hello.

2010-04-15T22:48:00.001+08:00

Lalala.

How’s it going peeps?

I’m back in Kuantan woot!

Andandand, <--- that’s me being hyper.

I had home-cooked chicken curry for lunch today.

Double helpings. yumyumyum. <—still hyper.

And I wanted to take a picture for you guys to see the awesomeness of my meal, but I had finished it already. So, please make do with random internet pictures on chicken curry.

Normal chicken curry.

Coconut chicken curry. Golden chicken curry.

Damn it’s making my mouth water.

Oh, bought two new books. :))))))))

Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre.

First edition cover, looks effing cool wey.

Which was only RM8.50. Double bonus.

Thought I was getting an awesome deal, until Ms. Rachel Tey told me that literature is subsidised by the government. along with sugar, petrol. The sugar and petrol is just a FYI thing la. These two I already knew.

I’m so going back to Popular and buying them out. I mean, War & Peace was only RM8.50. and it’s 1,475 pages. Shucks to commercial books. :P

Ooooh, second book!

Between The Assassinations – Aravind Adiga.

Was debating between this and The White Tiger. But again, Ms. Rachel Tey comes to the rescue and offers to lend me her copy. RM32.90.

(I feel my father’s disapproving gaze on me again.)

Ohh, thanks to Mr. Kenny Wong for driving us to Leisure Mall & Ms. Cherlyn Elina Ravi for lending me her popular card for the 5% discount. Baiknyer kawan-kawanku. :)

Andddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd, <—hyperness does not want to leave.

all my downloads finished!

(insert look of exasperation)

Eh, I’ve been downloading some of this shit since February la, let me be excited.

Pulp Fiction (check)

M.I.A – Kala (check)

Exorcism of Emily Rose (check)

Jamie Cullum – Catching Tales (check)

Season 1 of Sex and the City (check)

Mozart – Great Opera Moments Vol. 1 (check)

The Princess Diaries (check) <—don’t friggin’ laugh, you know you love it too.

Train – Save Me San Francisco (check)

The Yards (check)

Shutter Island (check)

Random episodes of Castle (check)

Pulp Fiction & Emily Rose took ages since they were Blu-ray versions.

But now, my external is running out of memory. FML.

Ohhh.

Managed to fool everyone in to thinking that Sharon was leaving for US on saturday, since everyone so malas wanna meet us in OldTown. clapclapclap.

kawan sepetku, SharonLau.-.-

p/s : Addicted to M.I.A’s Bamboo Banger.

Listen, I swear to god that this shit is dope.

Until next time,

Anjuuuuuuu. <—hyper lagi.

bloggo.

2010-04-13T01:08:00.001+08:00

Bong. BONGO. Bong.

nghehe. I’m that bored.

Should be studying for my exams now, but tomorrow sounds so much better.

Even though my exams are tomorrow.

(insert look of pure exasperation here)

Looking at Iphone prices now. :D:D:D:D:D:D

RM2490 for a 16GB 3GS. Without any stupid plans.

Daddy I WANT!

(ahem, like that’s gonna happen)

I’m gonna have to slowly save up money. Bit by bit until I don’t want an Iphone anymore more.

That’s God’s way of playing a very large cosmic joke on me.

Bong. BONGO. Bong.

This post is so random.

It’s 1.02 am.

Now it’s 1.03.

It’s amazing how fast time passes.

I’m supposed to wake up at 8 tomorrow.

Achieving that is gonna be a miracle.

Bong. BONGO. Bong.

I'm better than before.

2010-04-09T01:18:00.002+08:00

Song of this very second: Feist-Gatekeeper.

Oh, it's now David Cook's Music Of The Night.

Watching jasbir do her Chemistry report.

And I realize that my Malaysian Studies exam is next week. And I've skipped classes for 3 weeks in a row and the textbook hasn't been opened since the day I photostated it.

Oh, shit.

In the wake of my epiphany, I've vowed to :

Study more, play even less.LOL.(stupid ITALK)
Stop online-ing so often.
Blog more often.
Actually post some of my previous drafts.
Stop spending so much moneyyyyyyyy.O.o
And, pay more attention in class.

That's it i suppose.

Bosannnn la.

Aku mau ~~shisha~~.sushi.

Come and rest bones with me.

2010-04-07T22:44:00.002+08:00

I've been talked out of my life today. Talk talk talk.

Morning, random chinese guy at the bus stop.

The rest of the day dengan geng aku at BAC.:))))))

Now, I'm all talked out.

Babai everybody.(crazy doctor style for The Simpsons).

Spamming Jasbir Kaur's status sekrang.:)

A 100 Words and More.

2010-04-04T18:46:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow. Interview. Nervoussss.

Anyway, I was reading this. And it is kinda helpful actually. Scratch that. It’s really helpful. So READ IT JPA interviewees.

So here goes my script of introduction :

Name : doh.

Last previous school : double doh.

Parent’s occupation : why am I doing this again?

Siblings : One. Although I do have quite a few on fb. =D

Co-curricular activies : ZOMG. epic fail.

Which course did you choose : MEDS LAH. Why else will I be interviewed at a medical faculty?

(Afterwhich I realised that the guy meant where, so ENGLAND! =])

Why did you choose this course : I want to ~~be rich and superior~~ help people. And I was inspired by ~~Derek Shepherd aka McDreamy~~ Frances K.Conley.

Why did you choose this country : I like British accents. ‘Nuff said.

Oh. little note to leg-shakers out there, DON’T!

Breaking News.

2010-04-04T01:00:00.002+08:00

Apparently SABS has a blog. and so does the library.

Wtf.

Click here & here to check them out.

I for once am speechless.

=)

2010-04-03T21:28:00.001+08:00

Laugh Out Loud. Real loud.

Tired.

2010-04-03T03:05:00.002+08:00

2.22am.

back in kuantan. and my font looks like something out of Artemis Fowl. Haven’t heard of it? CLICK HERE!

God I sound like an annoying pop-up add.

My ears are throbbing on the account of me having multiple piercings on my left ear and having my headphones on for more than 6 hours.

Just stretched and cricked my back.

And now I sound like 56 year old batty woman.

Spent the whole day youtube-ing covers when I was supposed to be reading on the NEM. wtfness.

I am beyond free.

I’m not sleepy, and no the insomnia's not back. I’m just tired.

Tired of talking.

Tired of caring.

Tired of wondering.

Just tired fullstop.

Ne-Yo’s Never Knew I Needed on replay since 1.32am.

Given my short attention span, this is a miracle.

Now it’s so clear, I need you here.

Neglect Should Be My Middle Name.

2010-04-01T22:58:00.001+08:00

Sorry, sorry. It's been a long time hasn't it? I miss you.

Don't misunderstand, it's my blog I'm talking to.

Today marks the end of March, the 3rd month of 2010. How is this significant, don't ask. On another note, this means that it is another one year and nine months till the world ends.Or 994 days. Or so they say.

Anyway, being bored. I googled : 2012, the end of the world. And picked the first hit. So, I found out that :in the next few years we will see Earth changes that will be devastating to all living creatures on the planet. There will be compound crisis' happening at the same time in our cosmos. Planet X will be returning from its 3600 year orbit around our solar system. Which will bring with it six orbiting satellites with it. This return of Planet X will disrupt our solar system, and especially Jupiter, Neptune, Uranus, Venus, and the Earth. Planet X will enter our solar system at the edge and cross orbits with Jupiter. Jupiter could ignite at this time and become a baby sun. Nibiru will pass between the Earth on the Sun. This will cause the two suns to be seen by everyone in the world. Everyday people will be able to view the two suns by May of 2011 the latest.

The 11 1/2 year solar flare cycle will peak on 2012 causing solar flares that can knock out power grids around the world. These solar flares in conjunction with the return of Planet X, will cause devastation on the earth.

The sun, earth, and milky way will align at the galactic equator, on December 21, 2012, the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, and the end of the Mayan calendar. This only happens every 25,800 years! For the first time in recorded history, our entire solar system will move BELOW the milky way galaxy. These combined cosmic events, will be the end of the world as we know it. About 6 billion people of the world will perish in just a few short years if this cosmic catastrophe occurs.

How...reassuring.

And the sad part is, I actually bookmarked the damn page.

see!

p/s : song i'm currently in love with - Jamiroquai ~ Black Crow.

JAY KAY. <3

Don't ask why am I listening to them now, in 2010 when they came out years ago. but here's a little hint why, their first single was released in 1992. So, excuse me for not listening when they first came out. =P

Anyway. I’m off. I promise to update tomorrow.

Tell Me What You Want To Hear.

2010-03-26T00:02:00.002+08:00

To give another perfect lie is just impossible.

So, I'm going to give all my secrets away.

But to tell someone what they want to hear is impossible. Always, always be very vague. I've always believe on not saying anything if I find something I don't like. or hate even. I mean, I've always believed that if you don't have anything nice to say about something, don't say anything at all. Unless you're gossiping. There's a whole other story right there. But seriously, if I ever see someone, I just keep the topics neutral. Especially if they have ugly shoes on. Like now, it's the weather, college and how sucky the government can be. See, they only things we are gonna bitch about is basically god, the people who's going to shape our future and the body that's running our country. No hurt feelings there. But, I've kept my mouth shut for so long, compliments are hard to come by. But still, when I mean it, I really mean it. False impressions never seem to become me. I know what I want to say and I say it.

However, I've seen people who give out compliments like promotional flyers. And people love them. But I cannot help but wonder if they're being sincere and nice or secretly hating what you're wearing and inside they're bashing you like there's no tomorrow. I mean, at least I try to be sincere. TRY being the operative word. What's the point of being nice to them if you're not sincere? WHAT IS THE DAMN POINT?

Seriously.argh.